In my Life
by Emperatris
Summary: Teen star, Uchiha Sasuke clashes with school feared boy, Gaara and ends up falling in love with the same girl, Haruno Sakura..
1. Love

**Chapter 1:** Love

I've never felt so happy ever since I stepped into high school. Everything was almost new. It was a good opportunity to meet new teachers, classmates and friends. My world almost collapsed when I caught sight of a certain blonde boy with blue eyes, tan skin and with whisker-like marks on his cheeks. I sighed. Uzumaki Naruto.

He had been my classmate since I was in elementary school. God! He was really annoying! He's been telling me that he likes me, but I just don't feel the same for him. For some reason, he's always been around where I was. For once I thought that when I step into high school, I'll never ever see him again. Was that my inevitable destiny? It's such a small world, right? Oh, it is Sakura, it is.

I sighed.

"Sakura?"

"H-Huh..?" I replied. I looked back at Ino and focused my attention to her. "What was that again?"

Ino rolled her eyes. "It's Uchiha Sasuke! I heard that he'll be studying here this school year! It's such a good news! I know he'll surely like me!"

Uchiha Sasuke-- that famous teen actor. No doubt a lot of girls fancy him mainly because he's really attractive and an award-winning artist. His family was one of the richest here in Japan. He wasn't one of those hot shots who were just "a pretty face"; he was really smart, alright.

I admired Uchiha Sasuke even when I was a little girl. I really, really liked him. And so did my best friend, Ino. She's been my rival ever since he started his career which was about seven years ago. I'm sure she wasn't my only rival; there were other prettier (ouch!) girls who were out to steal his heart. Being the competitive girl I was, I knew I must not give up. My eyes were set on him and _him _alone.

"Sakura?" I heard someone say. It was a very familiar voice that I wished not to hear again. I turned to look at the blonde boy who was standing behind me with his sheepish smile.

"Oh hi, Naruto! I'm really surprised to see you here," I said, masking my sarcastic remark with a big smile.

"Aren't you happy, Sakura? We're even in the same class! Sakura and I…" He replied, his deep blue eyes shimmering. "It's going to be a fun year, right?"

Naruto has always been… Naruto. I wondered if he'd be pissed if I tell him that Sasuke was going to this school.

"I agree with that, Naruto. It's because Uchiha Sasuke will be studying here. I can hardly wait to see him!" I said with an exaggerated excitement.

A combination of jealousy and anger was present on his face. I knew it would work. Naruto hated Sasuke so much. He thought that the Uchiha guy was a show off just because almost all girls like him. He's Mr. Popular-show-off, Mr. I-am-so-perfect-and-good-you-can't-beat-me, he told me. He also despised him for another dumb reason—I liked the Uchiha boy. He declared himself as his rival in everything.

"What? That can't be true! There are a lot of good schools out there so why here?" I heard Naruto say. That question also rose in my mind but I really didn't care as long as he was near to me.

"Are you jealous, Naruto?" I asked him. Surely, that was the reason.

"Why should I be jealous? That isn't true, anyway," Naruto answered back.

"You are so mistaken," Ino said. She was staring at someone that seemingly shocked her out of her wits. Naruto and I turned our attention to the object of Ino's astonishment.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. There stood Uchiha Sasuke who just disembarked from his limousine, surrounded by a lot of students and teachers.

Ino and I went closer to him. He was wearing a black shirt and black pants. He sure loved black (I knew that way before, by the way). Sasuke was even more handsome in person than in the big screen. I stared at him with a dreamy smile plastered on my lips.

I woke out of my daydreaming when Ino nudged me. He pointed at the Uchiha star with a horrified look on her face. Everyone was staring at me including _him._

My heart started to beat faster as he approached me. All of the sudden, silence enveloped the whole place. Only the sweet humming of the birds and the gentle breeze were the only sounds I could hear.

My heart pounded faster and faster as if it would escape my body anytime. The world suddenly slowed down its movement… Closer and closer… His gaze made me feel that we were the onlu people in this entire world… Closer and closer… Until he was standing in front of me. Time stopped.

_Uchiha Sasuke._


	2. Heaven and Hell

**Chapter 2:** Heaven and Hell

There he was, standing right in front of me. His deep dark eyes pierced right through me. Wasn't he aware that it wasn't polite to stare down at people?

I lowered my head and tried to avoid his ice cold stare that sent shivers to my spine. I was so nervous that I couldn't think straight. What's with his weird behaviour (or has he always been like this)?

My heart beat faster and faster. He was so close to me. Uchiha Sasuke, the handsome teen star while me, Haruno Sakura, ordinary student, not-so-popular girl. I felt so little.

"Get out of my way." I coldly said.

That caused me to look back at him. I… I didn't expect him to say that. I thought--

"W-What?" I asked, just to be sure.

"Get out of my way." He repeated.

I moved a little bit, allowing him to pass.

I was stunned, I had to admit. I never expected that he'll be so mean. My competitive side rose from its deep slumber, giving me an optimistic attitude. There's no way I'd give up on him. I was determined to uncover his deep side.

-+-+-+-

"All I could say is wow!" Ino said as we walked to our classrooms. "That Uchiha guy is really hot..."

I nodded. She continued telling me things about Sasuke-- how she admired him, the way he looked today--I couldn't remember every detail. I pretended to be listening.

I was lost in my own world, thinking of Sasuke.

I never imagined that he'd be so cold. I remembered watching a TV program about a person's feelings: why a person suddenly changes from being an angel to a demon and the likes. I remembered the psychologist saying that a person changes from being a cheerful one to a cold loner mainly because of his past experiences, the problems he's currently facing or he just needs to..

Whatever his reason might be, I'd certainly like to know.

"Sakura?" I heard Ino say. That was enough to bring my attention back to her.

"H-Huh?" I replied.

"A-Are you ok?" She asked me.

I didn't have a chance to answer her because the bell rang, signalling the start of classes. I sure didn't want to be late and give my sensei a bad impression, and so did Ino. She bade me farewell before heading straight to her classroom.

And then I was alone. I took a deep breath and hurried to my classroom.

I was running quite fast. I suddenly remembered my admission card that was in my pocket. Every student needed it before he or she could enter the classroom for the first day.

I looked down to my pocket and reached my hand in it. I was having a hard time getting that card.

I was still running, trying to get that piece of crap from my pocket, but to no avail. Then suddenly…

"Ouch!" I exclaimed. I bumped onto something—rather someone. "Watch wher--" I said while I was nursing my forehead. But I wasn't able to finish my sentence for when I looked up…

"Gaara..."

He was staring at me and it sent shivers to my spine. His eyes, almost the same color as mine, were piercing.

At first Sasuke and now Gaara? I knew I was in a big trouble.

Gaara. As far as I'm concerned, he was the most feared guy at school. Just look at his eyes and you'll know how scary he was. No one came close or even messed up with him, not even Ino and I! I haven't even heard his voice.

One time I heard a group of female junior high school students talking about him. One of the girls said, 'I used to go at the same school he's been studying when I was in the sixth grade. While I was walking back home, I saw a boy, a year older than him who accidentally bumped into him. The guy was shaking, he kept apologizing to him but Gaara remained silent, glaring at him. The next day the news spread in the whole campus. I heard that the guy dropped out fearing that Gaara might do something terrible to him.'

He stood there, in front of me.. Glaring at me.. I couldn't even get my eyes off his! It's as if something inside me is telling me that I shouldn't..

Seconds felt like minutes. Minutes felt like hours.. So long..

Finally after some minutes of agony.. of torment.. he left me in there.. Just like that.

My hands were cold and sweaty.. My legs felt numb, I collapsed on the floor. I found myself staring at his walking figure. What the heck?!

Well, I'll be honest with you.. After that encounter with him, I felt that I want to know him more.. Why people fear him.. Why I fear him.. I desperately want to know..

-----

I'd be lying to you if I tell you that the classes went well.. Especially with Gaara in there.. He's so quiet.. My classmates sat faraway from him. I'm sure the teachers could understand them because they, themselves were afraid of him.. I found myself observing him from time to time. There's just something about him.. I really don't know.

Besides, my fear in him still continues to dwell at me.. It won't even leave! I easily get distracted, thanks to him..

Another reason would be Naruto.. He passes me a note timely and I feel so irritated! Especially when the notes contain messages like 'Sakura, would you like to go eat ramen with me?' or 'Sakura, I like you.. Don't you feel the same?' or 'I think you look rather pretty today.'

Pretty today? I've always been pretty. I like it when people praise me.. But if it is Naruto, never mind..

But I'd also be lying to you if I tell you that this day really sucks. Well, there's a reason why I should be happy.. And that's because of Sasuke, of course!

I enjoy looking at his raven hair, his jet black eyes.. His beautiful face. Sasuke writing, Sasuke reading, Sasuke sighing.. He's really handsome! Just seeing him in TV satisfies me.. Well, that was before. Now that he's my classmate I have a better chance of knowing him. And that would make poor Ino jealous..

"Well class, I've grouped you into three. You will work with each other and make your own romantic play. You will present that play two weeks from now. That will serve as your project.." Kakashi-sensei, who will be teaching us about literature, said.

I heared my classmates groan.

"What?!" Naruto said. "This is the first day of classes, Kakashi-sensei! We already have a project?!"

"Time is gold, Mr. Uzumaki, therefore we shouldn't be wasting time." Kakashi-sensei answered. I'm quite impressed that he knew Naruto when we didn't even introduce ourselves to him.

Yeah, time is gold.. Whatever..

I sighed.

I saw Sasuke yawn. Oh, he's so cute! His face.. So peaceful. He doesn't seem bothered about our project. Oh yeah.. Why should he, anyway? He's an award-winning artist. His groupmates are sure lucky..

"Haruno Sakura" I heared Kakashi-sensei say.

I thought he will scold me for not paying attention. Or worse, he might have noticed that I was staring at Sasuke..

But I was wrong. He continued.

"Your groupmates will be.." He looked at the piece of paper he was holding. "Uchiha Sasuke.."

Oh yes, yes! I guess this is my lucky day. We'll surely have high grades and receive super, duper thunder of applause! I'm a lucky, lucky girl!

".. and Gaara." Kakashi-sensei continued.

What the?! Gaara.. I thought this was my lucky day. Gaara as my groupmate? What will happen to me.. To me and Sasuke?

I was slightly shaking. My hands started to sweat and feel cold.

"To bad I'm not in Sakura's group. Damn it!" I heared Naruto say.

Yeah, I'd rather have him as a groupmate than that weird, most feared guy Gaara..

I rested my chin in my palm. But come to think of it, that group work thingy could help me in my 'mission' of knowing them better.

Well, I'm quite interested with my groupmates..

--

That's it for now. Thank you for those who reviewed! Your reviews gave me strength to write another chapter. I thought no one would mind reading this fic so thank you all! I love you!

Please review..


	3. Where Curiosity Leads

**Chapter 3**: Where Curiosity Leads  
  
Yay! Dismissal time! Certainly everyone loves.. dismissal time! Well me too, of course! I could do everything I want after school. Watch TV, surf the internet, look at Sasuke's pictures..  
  
You know, my most favorite part of my apartment is my room. The reason is that it's full of Sasuke's posters. I could spend my whole day by just looking at his beautiful pictures.. Yup, that's how addicted I am to him.  
  
But today I can't do that. We (my groupmates) decided to meet at the school lobby so that Sasuke could take us to his home and start working for our play.  
  
A night at Sasuke's home.. That would be nice! My classmates envy me big time because I'm Sasuke's groupmate. Yeah, that's worth their envy.  
  
I was sitting at a bench, waiting for Gaara. Sasuke's already there, he's so punctual. I was late for about ten minutes, thanks to Naruto, forcing me to eat ramen with him.  
  
Doesn't he feel irritated? I mean, Sasuke. There he was, leaning on the wall, surrounded by girls asking for his autograph, have a picture with him, have a date with him, to be his girlfriend..  
  
Oh no, sorry girls but Sasuke's MINE!  
  
I started to feel irritated myself.. Because of the girls that were surrounding him. They're so noisy! But I could understand them.. I will have him later.  
  
I grinned.  
  
Finally Gaara's here, now we could leave. I kept reminding myself that everything's gonna be alright. That Sasuke will protect me in case that red- haired freak does something bad to me..  
  
Anyway that's Sasuke's house, he can't harm me in there. Sasuke is rich so there's got to be lots of guards in there, I suppose.  
  
I tried to act normal.. Calm in Gaara's presence. I don't want him to see that I'm afraid of him. I don't want him to see how weak I am.  
  
Sasuke approached us, the crowd of girls as his background.  
  
"What took you so long?" Sasuke asked him.  
  
Gaara turned his face away from him.  
  
"Uh.. Shouldn't we be leaving now, Sasuke?" I asked him.  
  
Sasuke glared at me before commanding us to follow him in his limousine.  
  
-----  
  
Gaara and me just stood there, in the mansion's lobby, waiting for Sasuke while he spoke with a servant. Well I kept my distance from him, I don't want to die now.  
  
Sasuke's house, I mean mansion, was so beautiful. It looks clean, elegant, white, shiny.. It has a big staircase in the center that's made out of marble.  
  
I imagined myself going down that staircase, Sasuke waiting for me at the bottom. He looked lovely with his tuxedo. And some paces away from him were little Sasukes and little Sakuras. He then stretched his arms and hugged me.. Then closer.. A little bit closer, our lips would meet and--  
  
"What are you standing there for," Sasuke said, looking at me. "girl with an over-sized forehead?"  
  
What the?! What did he just said? How dare he!  
  
"I have a very beautiful name Sasuke and that's Sakura.. Haruno Sakura." I told him, trying to act calm. I wouldn't want to shout at him, would I? "So stop insulting me.."  
  
"I'm stating a fact." He retorted.  
  
Oh, Mr. Popular is quite cunning, isn't he?  
  
"There are good facts and bad facts, Sasuke." I said. "Bad facts are best avoided."  
  
Again, for the 100th time this day, he glared at me. After some seconds he turned away from me.  
  
"Hmph.. I wouldn't want to waste my time arguing with people who can't accept the fact." I heared him say then continued walking.  
  
He's so mean yet I still like him. To tell you the truth, the more he gets mean, the more I'm liking him.  
  
I shrugged and just followed him, Gaara behind me.  
  
-----  
  
We stayed at the mansion's living room. Well, it looks like it. It's very clean and white. With an elegant fire place, porcelain vase with a bunch of red roses in it, red carpet that looked so expensive, silk white curtains, a wooden table and chairs.. It's really beautiful. Maybe it's nice to be rich. Maybe it's nice to be Sasuke's wife..  
  
I grinned inwardly with that thought.  
  
We were there, writing our own ideas.. stories for our presentation. It's kind of hard in the beginning but I managed to finish mine.  
  
I wondered how my groupmates were doing. I bet I'm the first one to finish and I believe that my story's good.  
  
It is about a poor girl, her poor childhood friend and a noble man. When they were still young, the girl and her childhood friend promised that they will love each other forever come what may. By destiny the two friends were separated. Years and years have already passed but they were still unable to see each other. Losing hope, the girl opens her heart again for another love to come. She then finds herself in love with this noble but simple man she saw sitting under a tree, reading. Eventually the man also falls in love with the girl and proposes to her. On their wedding day, her childhood friend comes back. He reminds her the promise they made when they were still young. The man explains why he had been away for so long and that's because he's afraid that he might hurt her feelings, that he's not good enough to love her. Then the girl realizes that she's still in love with her childhood friend and she calls off the wedding. She and her childhood friend , who eventually becomes her husband, lived happily ever after.  
  
"You finished now?" Sasuke said. I think he's talking to me.  
  
"Y-Yeah.. How about you, Sasuke?" I asked him in my sweetest voice.  
  
"Yes. I finished my story about fifteen minutes ago." He replied in an as-a- matter-of-fact way.  
  
"Oh.." I said.  
  
I turned my head in the other direction where Gaara was sitting, writing his story, minding his own business. He was seated three chairs away from me and Sasuke. Sasuke sat across me.  
  
I'm not so sure if I should also ask him the same question but I did anyway..  
  
He pushed his papers toward me signaling that he's already finished.  
  
I sighed then took his papers.  
  
"Good. So all we have to do is read each other's story and decide which is the best. Then tomorrow we'll make the script." I said. I sounded like I was the leader of the group.  
  
Sasuke grabbed Gaara's work.  
  
"I don't want to read yours." He told me.  
  
"Neither do I." I heared Gaara say. He stood up and took Sasuke's work then back to his seat. Wow, that's the first time in this day that I ever heared him speak.  
  
Anyway, I was hoping to read Sasuke's story but Gaara took it. I don't want to mess up with him so I just let him read it.  
  
"What the?!" Sasuke suddenly said. Then he stood up, anger visible in his raven eyes.  
  
Gaara went near Sasuke and stood in front of him. He then threw the papers on Sasuke's face and it scattered on the carpeted floor.  
  
"Is that your story?" Gaara told Sasuke. "That's a piece of shit!" He stepped hard on the pieces of paper that he threw on Sasuke's face, tearing it slowly.  
  
"And what do you call yours?" Sasuke fired back. "A masterpiece? You're expecting me to act like that?!" Sasuke then tore Gaara's work into pieces.  
  
And soon, they were arguing in front of me.  
  
Doesn't Sasuke know Gaara? His reputation as the most feared guy at school. Doesn't he know that he shouldn't argue with him or else something bad might happen to him?  
  
I wonder, does Gaara have a TV in his house? Doesn't he know who he was arguing with?  
  
Before the matter gets worse, I stood in their center and stopped them.  
  
"Get out of my way, Sakura. This is our fight it does not concern you!" Sasuke told me.  
  
"Stop acting like children!" I said to my groupmates. "And Sasuke, it does concern me. Both of you are my friends. Instead of fighting we should work as a team!"  
  
I can't believe I just said that.. That I consider them as my friend.. Especially Gaara..  
  
They glared at each other before sitting back down.  
  
Since both of them tore each other's work and they don't seem to like those, I read them my story and chose my work. They reluctantly agreed.  
  
-----  
  
"Uh.. Sasuke.. Where is the comfort room?" I asked him. I wish he could accompany me but he's writing the script with Gaara so I must go alone.  
  
He told me the direction and after some minutes of searching I finally found it.  
  
-----  
  
Hah.. That felt good! I was making my way towards the living room when I suddenly thought of something.  
  
Sasuke's room.  
  
How does it look? How does it smell? Does it have his posters in it just like my room? Oh.. Just out of my curiosity..  
  
Where in this big house could it be? I'll have a hard time looking for it since there are lots of servants in every part of this mansion.  
  
I tried my best to be careful but alas, I was caught by a male servant.  
  
.. And thanks to my curiosity..  
  
"Excuse me, young miss, but Young Master Sasuke told us that you and your other companion must only stay in the living room." He politely explained to me.  
  
"Uhm.. I-I'm on my way to the comfort room, sir.." I said.  
  
"I'm sorry, young miss, but I believe you're lying." Came another voice. It turned out to be another male servant. "If I'm not mistaken you just came from the lavatory. I saw you."  
  
I sighed and just gave up.  
  
"Since you admit it, I am sorry to say, young miss, but we have to send you off. It's an order from Young Master Sasuke." Said the male servant who caught me wandering in the corridor.  
  
"What?! But.." I tried to explain.  
  
"Let her be. I'll take care of her.." I heared a voice, not so familiar to me, said.  
  
"Master Itachi!"  
  
-=-=-  
  
That's it for now. Thanks for the reviews!  
  
Sakura: Yeah! Thanks a lot for your support. To all Sasuke lovers (like me!) out there, I hope you'll continue to support this fic.  
  
Sasuke: Yeah, whatever..  
  
Gaara: ...  
  
Review people!


	4. Rainy Days

**Chapter 4:** Rainy Days  
  
"B-But Master Itachi," said the first male servant. "Young Mas--"  
  
"Are you questioning my order?" asked the man called Master Itachi.  
  
"N-No, Master,but--"  
  
"Then shut the hell up and get out of my sight before I strangle you to death.." Itachi harshly commanded the two servants.  
  
They bowed slightly to that Master of theirs before running away.  
  
I turned my head and I saw him looking at me and with a smirk.  
  
My eyes widened. He looks like Sasuke, only his hair is longer. His eyes were beautiful.. Dangerously beautiful. He's slightly taller than Sasuke, I think. And if he looks like Sasuke, he sure looks handsome too.  
  
He started to walk away from me.  
  
"Follow me." It sounded as if he's commanding me.  
  
I don't want to be strangled to death so I followed him. And besides he's the Master of this big house so I think I must.  
  
He stopped in front of a big white door. He opened it and motioned for me to follow him inside.  
  
The room was dark. Only the light from the fireplace somehow brightens the room up. In front of the fireplace was a black couch and there he sat.  
  
"Have a seat." He told me.  
  
I reluctantly sat beside him.  
  
"Tell me your name."  
  
"Oh.. Uh.. I-I'm H-Haruno Sakura, S-Sir.." I stamered.  
  
"You were looking for Sasuke's room." He said, staring at the red-orange flame.  
  
"I-I'm sorry, sir.. J-Just my curiosity.." I answered. I avoided looking at him as much as possible.  
  
"Hm.. You're a fan, I suppose?"  
  
I nodded slightly.  
  
"It won't be that easy. There are lots of things you don't know about him. Sasuke's so secretive."  
  
".."  
  
"How silly of him to bring his 'friends' here. Especially a girl.."  
  
I felt his delicate fingers touch my chin, making me face him.  
  
"He's got a good taste.." I heared him say.  
  
He was so close to me, I couldn't breathe. I parted my lips slightly to help myself breathe. My butt was slowly sliding down, I could even feel his body against mine. I was so tensed and I'm really finding it hard to breathe.  
  
"Uh.. S-Sir.. I must g--" I tried to explain but he silenced me by putting a finger on my lips.  
  
"Leaving so soon?" He said, his finger tracing my lips.  
  
I felt so numb. I couldn't move. I was so helpless. I felt so weak.  
  
"Get your fucking self off her, Itachi!" I heared an enraged Sasuke say.  
  
Itachi slowly crawled away from my body and sat down.  
  
"So.. You found us.." Itachi said, smirking.  
  
I looked behind me and saw a very angry Sasuke. He moved so fast and soon, he's behind that maniac. He held a kunai pointing at Itachi's neck.  
  
How did he do that? Maybe he studied self-defense..  
  
"Sakura, stay outside." Sasuke said without even looking at me.  
  
I nodded slightly and ran outside. I kept the door slightly open so I could see them and listen to their conversation. I know that I should just mind my own business, but that Itachi guy.. He's so intriguing..  
  
"So, you've got a new toy, Sasuke.." I heared Itachi say.  
  
I felt that Sasuke was so angry even though I could only see his back.  
  
"Shut the hell up, Itachi!" Sasuke tightened his grip on the kunai.  
  
"I'm quite interested with your new toy, Sasuke. Guard her well or I might have that Sakura of yours.."  
  
Sasuke was shaking in anger, he almost slit the older guy's throat with that sharp kunai.  
  
I saw Sasuke throw the kunai on the floor and whispered something. Itachi just laughed evily.  
  
I pretended that I was looking at some red roses about two rooms away from them. He met me there.  
  
"Stay away from him." He said then started to walk.  
  
I followed him.  
  
"Who was he?" I asked.  
  
No answer.  
  
"'Sasuke..?"  
  
"He's my brother.. My fucking brother, Itachi.." He answered. His fists curled into a ball.  
  
I didn't know that Sasuke has a brother. Like what Itachi had said, Sasuke's so secretive. I wonder, why does he hate him so much? But I dared not ask.  
  
"Uh.. Sasuke," I said. "I.. I'm s-sorry.."  
  
"Are you ok?" He asked.  
  
I was slightly startled that he asked me that. I thought he hated me, that he doesn't even care..  
  
"Y-Yeah.. Thank you.." I answered with a weak smile.  
  
We remained silent until we reached the living room.  
  
-----  
  
Thanks to that damn Orochimaru-sensei for giving us such a hard home work in Science, I left the school at around five thirty in the afternoon. I needed to go to the library and research for it.  
  
As I was walking back my apartment, I caught sight of a raven haired boy sitting on a tree branch.  
  
"Hey Sasuke!" I called.  
  
He looked down at me then back to whatever he was looking at before I came.  
  
I dropped my books and bag on the ground and tried climbing the tree, seeing that he doesn't want to go down. But I was unsuccessful.  
  
"Sasuke, would you mind climbing down the tree?" I asked him.  
  
"Good." I heared him say. "You can't bother me if I'm up here."  
  
Sighing in defeat, I just sat down under the tree.  
  
"Sasuke," I said. "Uh.. Thanks for.. saving me from y-your brother."  
  
No answer.  
  
"Oh I really hate that freaky Orochimaru-sensei for giving us such a hard home work!" I said, trying to change the topic. He doesn't seem to like talking about his older brother.  
  
"That's really easy." He answered monotonously.  
  
I can't think of anything to say. I'm aware that I'm not that much of a conversationalist.  
  
Silence prevailed between the two of us.  
  
"Hm.. Sasuke," I finally spoke, breaking the silence. "W-Well, I've been thinking about you so much since the first we met.. And when you saved me from Itachi.. I started thinking that you care for me.. and.. and.. you feel s-something d-different for me.. You know, I-I uhm.. I.. I think I'm in l-love with you a-and I was hoping that you--"  
  
"Feel the same way?" He cut me off.  
  
He jumped down to the ground and stood there, his back facing me.  
  
I couldn't look straight at his figure. My cheeks were really flushed.  
  
"I'll never fall in love to someone like you. _Never_."  
  
And then he left me. It took me quite a while to let those bitter words sink in my mind. Does he really mean it? Sasuke.. The one I love. What's wrong with me? Tell me, Sasuke, and I'm willing to change everything.. Just for you, the one I love..  
  
Tears kept on falling like rain, slowly flooding my wounded heart.  
  
-----  
  
We had been rehearsing for our presentation for five days since that incident in Sasuke's house. I'm always busy plus the other home works. Me and Ino can't even hang out because of my schedule.  
  
Well, it's going pretty good. My story draft says that I will be the poor girl (Of course..), Sasuke will be the poor childhood friend (So that I'll end up being with him!) and Gaara as the noble man. But Sasuke revised it. He's not suitable to act as a poor boy, he said. So he became the noble man instead and Gaara as the childhood friend.  
  
Aw.. Poor me! I thought I'll end up being with Sasuke, even in that play, but I ended up being with Gaara..  
  
Speaking of those two, well we became a little bit close to each other. Gaara is still the same, scary, silent and his glare still freaks me out. Sasuke.. I knew that he's a hard-working person. I tried to act normal when he's around, pretending that what he had said was nothing.  
  
But it really hurts me a lot.. Why must I need to pretend? I know deep within me that I love him and what he said made a big impact to me. Why can't it just be like the person you love also loves you so that all of us could be happy? I know that I'm being selfish but I just can't help it. Tell me, is selfishness wrong in that way?  
  
Today we weren't able to practice. Sasuke had some engagements to make so he can't attend our rehearsal.  
  
Before heading back to my apartment, I decided to stop by at a playground. And there I was, sitting on a swing.  
  
I looked at the sun as it slowly set. I sighed. I'm all alone there. I felt so lonely. So empty. So cold..  
  
Something caught my attention. A certain red-haired boy with piercing jade eyes.. Gaara. I saw him walking outside the playground and I think he didn't notice me.  
  
Finally, a company! I stood up and ran towards him.  
  
"Hey Gaara! Would you mind accompanying me here?" I said, trying to act cheerful.  
  
"Yes." That's all he said then started walking again.  
  
I ran to him and pulled his arm. I'm not sure if I did the right thing but I'm really eager to talk to him.  
  
"Please?" I said.  
  
"No one's ever done done that to me." He said. He sounded calm. I don't know if he's angry with me.  
  
I removed my hand from his arm and backed away a little.  
  
"Uhm.. I-I'm s-sorry.. I just need someone to accompany me. I.. I feel so lonely today. Please?" I pleaded him again.  
  
He stared at me before heading to the playground.  
  
I found myself smiling a bit.  
  
-----  
  
I was sitting at a swing. He sat in another swing beside me. It was already dark that time and it's getting chilly.  
  
"It will rain soon." He said, looking at the pinkish black sky.  
  
"I know.." I answered.  
  
Silence.  
  
"Gaara, tell me something.. A-About yourself." I finally said, breaking the silence.  
  
"There's nothing special about myself. Nothing would interest you." He answered.  
  
"Just tell me anything.."  
  
"I'm Gaara, people fear me and I like it." He said.  
  
I was about to say 'I know that already. I mean.. About your family, where you live.. Things like that.' but another question rose in my mind.  
  
"Have you ever been in love?"  
  
Silence consumed the two of us.  
  
He sighed as he slowly stood up and walked away. Then he stopped, his back facing me.  
  
"Love?! Ridiculous.." He said.  
  
I was quite shocked by his answer. Since when did love became ridiculous? It's probably one of the best thing in this world!  
  
"W-What? But why..?" I asked him.  
  
I stood up and approached him, his back still facing me.  
  
"That thing you call 'love' does not exist in my life." He answered. "Love is only for the weak. You always have to protect your special one and you feel weak when they're hurt or when you fail to protect or make them happy.."  
  
I was about to say something when he spoke again.  
  
".. And you'll end up being hurt."  
  
My jaw dropped open when I heared his explanation. I never thought that Gaara, the most feared guy in school, with his cold, jade eyes, could be this.. expressive.  
  
I lowered my head and smiled a little.  
  
"Oh.. So that's the most feared guy, Gaara's perception about that thing called 'love', eh?" I said. "Well, mine is this: I believe that love is for everyone. Whether you're strong or weak.. Love involves great risks that could make or break you. If you're weak yet you love and accept the challenges you might face, that's when you become strong, you become brave. You are not afraid to face the possible consequences which love might bring. A-And when y-you fail to be l-loved back--" My voice was faltering.  
  
I felt an arm around my waist. A hand behind my head, gently pushing it to his chest.  
  
"Release it.." I heared him say.  
  
I don't know.. That weird feeling suddenly came into me. The feeling of comfort.. security.. when he hugged me.  
  
I just felt like.. crying. I don't know why.. Those crystal beads just came out from my eyes.  
  
There was silence in the air.  
  
Then rain started to pour.  
  
I'll never forget that rainy night.  
  
-=-=-=-  
  
Uh.. This is it for now. Anyway keep on reviewing. I love you all!


	5. So Damn Good

**Chapter 5:** So Damn Good  
  
One sunny Saturday morning, we rehearsed at the National Park. That incident in the playground with Gaara is still fresh in my mind. How he hugged me.. How warm it felt..  
  
And of course the pain that Sasuke brought to me is still present. But still, the show must go on.  
  
Sasuke and I rested under a tree. And Gaara.. He was sitting under another tree far away from us, as usual.  
  
"Nice morning, isn't it Sasuke?" I said, trying to start a nice conversation.  
  
He didn't answer. I sighed.  
  
"Oh.. Uhm.. What does your parents do for a living? Well, your house is really big--" I wasn't able to finish my sentence.  
  
"They're dead." He simply answered.  
  
I fell silent. They're.. dead. No wonder he acts so cold.  
  
"I-I'm sorry.." That was all I could say.  
  
He rested his chin on his knees. He's so silent.. Did I offend him?  
  
I gently rubbed his back and he sighed.  
  
"At least you've got your brother.. I mean y-you're not alone.." I told him. I'm not sure if I said the right thing.  
  
"You don't know anything about Itachi." He answered. He sounded quite angry.  
  
I leaned against the tree and looked at the cerulean sky. My lips curled into a smile.  
  
"I know he's Uchiha Itachi, Uchiha Sasuke's older brother." I said with a small smile.  
  
He glared at me before he stood up.  
  
"Just stay away from him.." He said then walked away.  
  
I stood up and followed him.  
  
"Hey Sasuke, why should I stay away from him?"  
  
"Just do as I say!" He sounded as if he's irritated.  
  
"Oh Sasuke.. You know that I.. Uh.. I l-like you uhm.. so.. how about a date tonight?" I asked with a smile on my face even if I knew what his answer would be. Maybe he changed his mind and finally realized that he also likes me.  
  
Maybe.. Just maybe..  
  
He stopped and looked at me.  
  
"Dream on.. And leave me alone, ok?! I'm so tired of you!" He angrily answered and walked away.  
  
I stopped and just stared at his walking figure. My legs felt so numb and soon I collapsed on the ground.  
  
"S-Sasuke.." I mumbled. Tears started to form in my eyes and soon, those salty liquid just came flowing down my cheeks.  
  
"Just let him be.."  
  
I looked behind, it was Gaara.  
  
I wiped my tears by the back of my palm. I flashed him a weak smile.  
  
"H-Hey Gaara.. Uh.. I.." I stamered.  
  
"There are people who just want to be left alone." He said. "Don't feel offended by his words."  
  
I stood up and dusted my skirt.  
  
"T-Thanks." I said. My weak smile turned into a frown. "M-Maybe he just.. d- doesn't like me.."  
  
"Try to understand him," He said. "and you will know the answer."  
  
I sat back under the tree. I was silent for quite a while, thinking about what he said. Try to understand him.. and you will know the answer.  
  
"Here." I looked up. Gaara's arm was stretched, offering me a cone of strawberry ice cream.  
  
"Hey, how did you know that I like this flavor?" I asked him. Strawberry is truly my favorite flavor of ice cream.  
  
"Just by looking at you I could tell." He answered.  
  
I don't know.. I just felt like giving him a sweet smile.  
  
-----  
  
It was already dark when we finished our practice. I remembered that I must go to the grocery and buy some food. Living alone sure is hard.  
  
I bought some bread, eggs, fish, strawberries, milk and juice. I even saw Naruto, his basket full of instant ramen. Fortunately for me, I already left the grocery before he could have the chance to see me.  
  
-----  
  
I finally reached my apartment. I even saw Ino standing near the entrance door. I assumed she wanted to talk to me so I invited her inside.  
  
"Wow Sakura, you managed to keep your apartment clean despite your busy schedule?!" She said, her eyes roaming around my small living room.  
  
"That's mainly the reason. I'm always away." I answered.  
  
"So, how's your practice with Gaara?"  
  
"Oh just fine. He's really not that bad." I gave her a smile.  
  
"And what about Sasuke?" She continued asking, this time her voice was full of enthusiasm.  
  
Sasuke..  
  
My smile suddenly vanished upon hearing his name. Ino is my best friend so maybe it's okay to tell her the truth and stop pretending but I don't want her or anyone worrying about me. I don't want to be a burden to anyone..  
  
Then again, I pretended that I was happy. I flashed her a beautiful smile.  
  
"Oh really great! Sasuke's such a good actor! And he's really handsome! You can't imagine how close we are to each other now." I happily answered.  
  
"I really envy you, Sakura!" She said with a pout. "But you won't be able to steal my Sasuke from me!"  
  
I laughed on how she looked. Oh, that felt quite good..  
  
"Well, I came here to invite you to a camping trip three days after your presentation." She said.  
  
I looked at the calendar. Our presentation will be four days from now which is a Wednesday. So that camping trip will be held on a Saturday.  
  
"Why not?" I said. "Who else would be coming?"  
  
"Uhm.. Me, you, Naruto, Hinata, Shikamaru, Neji.." Ino looked at the ceiling, trying to recall something. "Hey Sakura, could you invite Sasuke to come?"  
  
Now how would I be able to do that?  
  
"O-Okay.." I said, flashing her a reassuring smile. "Uh Ino, could I also invite Gaara to come with us?"  
  
Her eyes widened. "Sakura are you serious?!"  
  
"Well, yeah. I mean he's not that bad and I think it would be good if you c- could get to know him better." I said with a small smile.  
  
She sighed. "Alright, do what you want but just get Sasuke to come, okay?"  
  
I gave her two thumbs up. "Sure thing!"  
  
You stupid Sakura!  
  
-----  
  
Sunday, our free day from practice! I woke up at around seven in the morning, had my breakfast, took a bath, brushed my teeth and now I think I'm ready to go to Sasuke's house and invite him to the upcoming camping trip.  
  
My legs were slightly shaking as I stood in front of the enormous gate of the Uchiha residence.  
  
Remember Sakura, you're only here to invite him, that's all.  
  
After some minutes of waiting, the guard finally opened the massive gate.  
  
A servant, the one who caught me wandering in the corridor some days ago, led me to the living room and asked me to wait for Sasuke. It's a good thing that that Master Itachi of theirs didn't fire him.  
  
I sat quietly on the cream-colored couch. I can't help admiring the beauty of this room. It's even larger than my apartment!  
  
Something caught my attention. A picture of Sasuke and Itachi when they were still kids. I went closer to it to have a clearer view. The glass has a crack on its center. I wonder why they won't change that broken picture frame.  
  
"I see you've noticed that picture."  
  
I turned around and saw that familiar smirk, long, raven hair, jet black, dangerous orbs.  
  
"Itachi.."  
  
"Sasuke will be here in a matter of minutes." Itachi said.  
  
_Keep away from him..  
_  
Sasuke's voice suddenly rang into my mind. I think it's the best thing to do seeing his smirk getting bigger.  
  
"P-Pardon me but I think I'll have to leave now. I-I'll just call him later.." I nervously said. I walked past him but then he grabbed my arm.  
  
"Hm.. That silly little brother of mine." I heared him say from behind me. Suddenly, I felt his arm around my shoulder and another around my waist. His chin rested on my shoulder.  
  
"He told you to avoid me, didn't he?" He whispered harshly to my ear.  
  
My legs were really shaking. I can't move forward because his arms were around me neither can I move back because he's just behind me.  
  
"N-No.. I.. I.." I tried to speak but no more words came out.  
  
"Quit lying, you little bitch.." He harshly whispered again. I could feel his hot breath against my neck. Then I felt something damp on my neck.  
  
It felt so disgusting, filthy, and.. so damn.. good. Oh shit!  
  
Was he trying to seduce me?  
  
I slowly closed my eyes as I sighed. I know it's wrong yet it felt so good.. Damn you, Uchiha Itachi for.. for.. being so good..  
  
I would have give in to him.. almost moaned in.. in pleasure if Sasuke didn't open the door.  
  
Sasuke? Oh.. My.. God..  
  
I shivered as I looked straight to his raven orbs, flaring in.. anger? But it didn't matter why because he already walked out to somewhere.. I don't know! I felt so confused.. So disgusted on how I acted.  
  
Oh no.. What have I done?!  
  
I finally came to my senses and bit Itachi's arm and ran away from him, following an _angry_ walking Sasuke.  
  
"Sasuke, wait!"  
  
-=-=-=-  
  
Uhm sorry if this chapter sucks.  
  
BTW, I didn't expect that you'll somehow like Sakura and Gaara's perception about love. I'm just a happy, happy person who adores love!  
  
Please review! Thank you all!


	6. Jealousy

**Chapter 6:** Jealousy  
  
"Sasuke, wait!" I called him for the third.. no, fourth time but still, he won't face me.  
  
Finally, he stopped walking on what it seemed the mansion's garden. He motioned the gardeners and some servants to leave and of course, they did.  
  
Now, we are alone in there.. Only the flowing water from the fountain, the sweet, gentle humming of the birds and the rustling of the trees could be heared.  
  
"Why did you come here?" He calmly asked me. I got to admit he's good in controling his emotion. I could feel that he's boiling in anger inside but he stayed calm.  
  
"Uhm.. I.. I.. just want to i-invite you to a.. camping trip t-this coming Saturday.." I told him my intention.  
  
He turned around and stared at me.  
  
"Saturday, eh?" He said. "Too bad I can't attend your silly camping trip with your friends. I've got some important engagements to make."  
  
Oh no! I promised Ino that I'll make him come. If he can't come, then so does Gaara..  
  
"H-Huh.. B-But Sasuke I--"  
  
"You came all along here for nothing." He cut me off, flashing a smug smile. "You went here then got seduced by Itachi.." His raised his voice upon saying that.  
  
Why did he express his anger all of a sudden? I was about to apologize to him, like I always do, but then a question rose in my mind.  
  
"Are you jealous, Sasuke?" I asked him, smirking.  
  
His jaw dropped open. Hah, I got you there Sasuke! He was speechless for quite a while.  
  
"And why would I be jealous?" He retorted. "Someone like you with an over- sized forehead, pink hair.. would be a source of my jealousy?! Oh c'mon!" He then gave me a disgusted look.  
  
"Oh really? Then why do you want me to stay away from your handsome brother? Why are you so angry all of a sudden? If you are not jealous then yo--"  
  
"SHUT THE FUCK UP, SAKURA!" He shouted at me. His fists curled into a ball.  
  
I think I made him REALLY angry. I was trembling a lot. May the gods have mercy on me.. Uh-oh, I'm in serious trouble.. And I owe it to me and my big mouth!  
  
"You know why?" He started to advance towards me and I started to step back. "Maybe I'm jealous or whatever you call it. I said stay away from that damn brother of mine because you don't know him completely. But you didn't listen to me. I hate Itachi! And you know what else?"  
  
The game is over, and I think I lost. I bumped against a large tree. He kept an iron grip on my shoulders, making it impossible for me to escape. He was pushing me harder to the tree's bark.  
  
He really scared me out of my wits!  
  
"H-Hey S-Sa.. Sasuke.. I-I'm sor--" He didn't let me finish. Without any warning, he crushed his petal soft lips against mine, devouring it completely.  
  
And stupid me fell in his spell..  
  
"I want you and there's nothing he could do to take you away from me. Nothing.. You're mine.. " He continued after we broke the kiss.  
  
"I'll cancel all my appointments for this coming Saturday. I will come to your camping trip and see what other things we could do together." He then flashed a you-know-what-I-mean smile to me.  
  
He started to walk away. I was too dumb strucked to move. My knees felt weak and soon, I collapsed on the grassy ground.  
  
I found myself tracing my grinning lips.  
  
"Sasuke.."  
  
-----  
  
I still went to a bookstore and bought a book about baking. I finally decided to go back home at around five p.m. when I passed that playground.. The one I'll never forget in my entire life. Before heading back home, I spent some of my time in that memorable place.  
  
Like the first time I went there, it was silent I sat on a swing and I'm alone.. And like the first time, I watched the proud, burning sun as it slowly set.  
  
I was too happy that day. Sasuke just.. kissed me. Finally! And poor Ino will die in jealousy if I tell her that. Tsk, tsk, tsk!  
  
_I'll never fall in love to someone like you. Never..  
  
Dream on.. And leave me alone, ok?! I'm so tired of you!  
  
_Sasuke's voice suddenly rang into my mind. Maybe I was too happy that I forgot about that and the pain it brought to me.  
  
_I want you and there's nothing he could do to take you away from me. Nothing.. You're mine.  
_  
How can he be so.. possesive all of a sudden? I simply can't understand him.  
  
Why did he said that? Why did he kiss me if he doesn't like me in the first place? I thought it was love that he felt for me the moment his lips touched mine. I thought he finally realized that he loves me, too. Love? Or was it just his lust?  
  
I never thought that in a way, Sasuke is similar to that bastard brother of his. They're both _lustful_..  
  
Sasuke and lustful? That doesn't get along.. Maybe.. I don't completely know him.. I want to know the true reason..  
  
_I'll come to your camping trip and see what other things we could do together.  
_  
Hmm.. Should I play with him? What do you think?  
  
Would that be.. right?  
  
But something bothered my mind. Sakura, you want his love.. What are you thinking? You can't just let him destroy your dignity! If he's only lusting for you then forget it. He can never love you the way you do! Just accept that damn fact.  
  
My head started to throbb.  
  
"Don't kill yourself by thinking too much.." I heared a famliar voice say. I turned my head to the direction where the sound came. And there was Gaara, sitting on the same swing where he sat the first time I went here.  
  
"Oh, hi Gaara!" I tried to act cheerful. "So, h-how long have you been in here?"  
  
"About five minutes." He replied. "I saw you sitting alone in here so I thought that.. you'll be needing a.. company."  
  
I gave him a genuine smile.  
  
"Thanks.." I said. "You'll never know how happy I am today. I went to his house this morning and we talked a little then.. Sasuke kissed me!"  
  
"Hn.. Good for you." He answered, his face still expressionless. Does he really feel happy for me?  
  
I couldn't think of anything that's interesting to talk about.  
  
"H-How's your love life?" That question suddenly came out from my mouth.  
  
I knew that he'll only answer 'Love does not exist in my life' or 'Love?! Ridiculous..' but I was wrong.  
  
"I finally found her." That was his answer.  
  
"Her? What her?" I flashed him a puzzled look.  
  
He sighed. At first he was hesitant to answer my question but he did, anyway..  
  
"T-The one I.. love.."  
  
"Really?!" I exclaimed. "I told you love is a good thi--"  
  
"But she's in love with someone else who does not deserve her.." He cut me off.  
  
The wind blew then there was silence.  
  
"I.. I wouldn't ask who the girl is but I think she's very lucky.. b- because she was loved by Gaara.. The most feared guy at school with piercing jade eyes--"  
  
"Cold, rock, loner, weak.." He continued.  
  
I looked at him.  
  
"That's what they think but for all I know, that Gaara is a good person, a nice friend, expressive, worth knowing.. a-and probably the bravest person I've ever known b-because he continues t-to love even if it hurts a lot.." I gave him a weak smile which turned into a frown all of a sudden. "Not like me who is so sensitive, so helpless.."  
  
"You know, that girl is worth dying for. S-She understands me.. She made me realize a thing which I thought never exists in my life." He sighed. "If only.. she were.. mine life would be so.. happy.."  
  
So, the girl understands him.. Maybe she's his childhood friend or something.  
  
I stood in front of him and forced a very cheerful smile despite my killer headache.  
  
"I hope she'll realize how much you love her.. I hope she'll realize.." I paused. "Just how much s-she means to Gaara.."  
  
My cheerful mask melted and was soon replaced by a sad, crying one. I threw my arms around him. I cried and cried and cried while he gently rubbed my back, whispering some soothing words to my ear.  
  
I hope he'll realize how much I love him.. I hope he'll realize.. just how much Sasuke means to Sakura..  
  
-=-=-=-=-  
  
Uhm.. Err.. Sorry for this short chapter.  
  
I'd like to say belated happy birthday to **Jingle bells** who celebrated her (?) b-day last May 23rd. Thanks for the support!  
  
Review people! Thank you!


	7. Falling

_And now I'm falling, falling fast again. Why do I always take a fall when I fall in love..  
_  
**Chapter 7:** Falling  
  
I slowly opened my eyes. I saw.. nothing! I blinked several times but still, nothing but complete darkness. I'm sure I was lying on a bed but this isn't my room. I sat up and my head suddenly ached. I felt so dizzy. I took a deep breath before standing, leaning a wall.  
  
I slowly walked, the wall guiding me when I touched something soft.. Cloth? A curtain! I pulled it, revealing a blinding light.  
  
I used my hand to shield my eyes from the light.  
  
I looked around the room. It was really neat. Not a lot of things, though. Unlike my girly room.. There's a closet, a small table beside the single- sized bed and a full body mirror in front of it.  
  
I looked at the digital clock on the side table.  
  
4:20 pm.. I slept a lot!  
  
I went outside the room. There was a staircase. I went down and peeked to the first room that I saw-- the living room.  
  
I heared some girls laughing, having their girly conversation. They were Temari and Tsuchi Kin. You might be wondering how I knew them. Well, Temari is Gaara's sister and everyone in school knows that. And because of that, guys in school respect her so much. But really, she, too is afraid of her own brother.  
  
Temari.. So maybe I'm in Gaara's house.  
  
Uhm anyway, I heared from Ino that Tsuchi Kin, from the third year high school, was really crazy about that freaky Orochimaru-sensei. She's got a really weird taste! Eww..  
  
"What are you doing down here?" Temari asked, looking at me.  
  
"Uh.. I.. I.. I'm so-sorry b--"  
  
"Hm.. You must be hungry. There's some food on the table in the kitchen." She said and resumed chatting with Kin.  
  
I'm not really hungry. I'm going to ask her something but she's too busy chatting. So I walked to the kitchen's direction when..  
  
"Who's that girl?" I heared Kin ask her blonde friend.  
  
"I don't know. Gaara brought her here yesterday, unconscious." Temari answered.  
  
Now I remember. I was really dizzy yesterday and maybe I collapsed while I was with him.  
  
I just sat on a wooden chair, not even touching the food in front of me.  
  
"Oh Gaara, you're home!" I heared Temari say.  
  
"Where's Sakura?" Gaara asked.  
  
"Th-The pink haired girl? Oh sh-she's in the kitchen right now.." She nervously answered.  
  
"Leave us alone.." He said.  
  
I heared his footsteps louder and louder. It means he's heading toward this direction. He reached the kitchen and sat down across me.  
  
"I don't know where you're house is so I brought you here." He explained.  
  
"Thank you." I replied.  
  
"How are you?" He asked me.  
  
"J-Just a little dizzy.." I gave him a weak smile. "Uhm.. Gaara.. T-Thanks for.. helping m-me.. Y-You're always here to help me w-when I feel so weak. How could I ever.. repay your.. kindness?"  
  
He held my hand and squeezed it softly.  
  
"I just want you to be.. happy." He softly answered then he sadly sighed.  
  
I smiled at him.  
  
"I also want you to be happy. You know, a heart that is hurt is a heart that loves. Gaara, don't lose hope. Continue to love and someday, you'll get the love you truly deserve."  
  
"Same to you.." He said.  
  
I was silent for quite a while. I remembered what I just said to him.  
  
_Continue to love and someday, you'll get the love you truly deserve._  
  
-----  
  
We decided to talk in his room to have some more privacy. Yup, that was the same room I slept in.  
  
I sat on his bed, Gaara beside me.  
  
"Everyday I'm falling deeper for her.." He said.  
  
"Oh.. That girl is really a lucky one." I said. "Whoever she is.."  
  
"I've never experienced that thing called love.. Until she came into my life." He said, looking at me.  
  
"You know, I envy that girl.. Someone cares for her.. Someone loves her.. You told me he doesn't deserve her, right? All she needs to do is open her heart for another love to come. And she'll be happy.." I said. Again, tears started to form in my eyes. "But me? I do everything I could just so Sasuke could notice me.. I'll even change everything in me so that he'll like me even just a bit. Just so I could please him.. I can't stop loving him because if I do, I'll wake up one day and I'm all alone.. No one really cares for me.. No one will love me. I mean who will love a sensitive, helpless, fragile, weak Sakura?"  
  
Crystal beads came running down my cheeks. I felt Gaara's thumb wipe away my tears and like what he always does, he hugged me and rubbed my back gently. That really soothed my sad soul..  
  
"If he doesn't like you the way you are.. If he doesn't like the brave Sakura that I know.. Then he's just a fool looking for his reflection in you." He whispered.  
  
Maybe Gaara was right but I just can't stop loving Sasuke even if he doesn't love me.. For I am afraid that when I open my heart, no love will come..  
  
For I am afraid to be alone..  
  
-----  
  
After tiring days of practice for our play, it's finally Wednesday. Time to show the fruit of our hardwork.  
  
Wow, I didn't know Naruto was a good actor! A comedian, I mean. Anyway his groupmates were Hyuuga Hinata and Nara Shikamaru. Well, the story's great. Only Hinata was trembling so much. She kept on speaking like 'I.. I.. I.. d- don't k-know.. Uhm.. Na-Na-Na-Naruto..'  
  
I'm feeling very nervous! What if I forget my lines? What if I tremble too much while I'm acting? What if..  
  
"The next group will be.. Group 8." said Kakashi-sensei.  
  
Oh no! That's our group..  
  
I stood up and tried to be calm. Breathe in.. Breathe out.. Breathe in..  
  
"Calm down, Sakura." Sasuke whispered to me.  
  
Breathe out..  
  
I blushed a little.  
  
-----  
  
"I love you with all my heart.." That was my last line.  
  
"Thank you." And that was Gaara's last line then he hugged me.  
  
(A/N: Sounds familiar? Hehe..)  
  
As I have expected, all our classmates cheered for us, err.. I mean for Sasuke..  
  
"Good work." Kakashi-sensei remarked. "The script was well-written. The story was nice and you acted very well."  
  
"Sakura you're a great actress!" Naruto said. "How about a date later?"  
  
"Date with you?! Never!" I said.  
  
Naruto pouted.  
  
I remembered the day I asked Sasuke for a date and he rejected me. I felt so sad and I thought my heart would shatter into pieces. Maybe that's how Naruto felt.  
  
I sat down on my chair as I watched the other groups perform.  
  
-----  
  
I was sitting on a bench, reading my notes later that afternoon.  
  
"A plate in the form of an isosceles triangle of base 6 feet and altitude 4 feet is submerged vertically in water. Find the force on one side of the plate if the base is parallel to and 3 feet below the surface." I read out loud for the third time but I still can't get the right answer.  
  
I wasn't like this before. I mean I know I'm smart and I can answer these kinds of question but now I'm finding it really hard. Maybe I'm too much distracted by the happenings..  
  
Then I spotted Gaara. Maybe he could help me out.  
  
"Hey Gaara!" I called him.  
  
He walked towards me and sat on the bench.  
  
"Oh.. Uhm.. By the way, me and my friends are going to have a camping trip this coming Saturday.. Uh, wanna join?" I asked him.  
  
"Are you sure you're asking the right Gaara?"  
  
I chuckled. "Of course I am! And besides you're the only Gaara that I know.. So?"  
  
"W-Would it be okay.. to your friends?" He asked.  
  
"Of course! I'm sure it will be fun, especially with you in there. Please?" I pleaded him.  
  
He sighed. "Oh, alright.."  
  
Silence.  
  
"Uhm.. I.. I was just thinking if y-you could.. help me out in this problem." I said. I gave him my notebook and a pencil.  
  
After some minutes of analizing, he used my pencil to draw a triangle and began explaining to me the equation.  
  
I was distracted by.. him. By his burning red hair, chilly jade eyes, his sexy lips.. Oh damn it! What am I thinking?!  
  
I still can't believe that the person beside me, the one I used to fear, the one with scary jade orbs, quiet but dangerous type, the reason why a boy dropped out from his school is Gaara. I never thought that he'd be this.. kind. He gave me good advices that helped me a lot. Maybe, just maybe, he li-- oh as if that will ever happen. He's in love with someone else, remember?! And I hate him, I hate him damn lot! I hate him for being so.. kind.. understanding.. sweet.. I hate him because he made me fa--  
  
"So that's why you got that answer." He said, pointing the pencil to the boxed answer.  
  
I found myself blushing when I snapped back to reality and knew that I was staring at his face. "H-Huh? I.. I'm so-sorry.."  
  
He sighed. "It's okay I'm going to explain it to you again."  
  
"N-No.. Thanks anyway.. I just--" I nervously said. I hope he won't speak up again because if he does..  
  
"I said it's okay and besides I do--"  
  
I went closer to him.. So close that I could feel his hot breath against my skin.. So close until our lips met.  
  
There was silence in the air.  
  
"Sakura.." He said, almost like a whisper.  
  
Oh no! I was too carried away that I kissed him! And now it's too late to apologize.. And because of what I've done, he'll hate me for sure! I was so speechless..  
  
And oh yeah.. Thanks to his inviting lips and my damn teenage hormones. He should've not been so persistent! Oh, I hate him!  
  
"A-Are you alright?" He asked me.  
  
Now I'm trembling. I lowered my head to avoid his eyes.  
  
"Sakura?" He called me again.  
  
I looked at him with teary eyes and something I saw surprised me. Something behind him, about twenty paces away from us.. My eyes widened with the sight of Sasuke.  
  
Now I'm getting more confused about my feelings for them!  
  
-=-=-=-=-  
  
GaaraXSakura moment! Oh uhm.. sorry to all SasuXSaku fans out there. I'll try my best to write a chapter with a SasuXSaku moment.  
  
Let me see.. Uhm Sasuke will tell Sakura something about their kissing scene in the next chapter so watch out for it!

**Maya Amano's** birthday is also May 23? Belated happy birthday, girl!

Review please!


	8. The Nightmare

**Chapter 8:** The Nightmare  
  
"Gaara, wait here okay?" I said. "I'll just go and talk to Sasuke."  
  
He nodded slightly. "I'll be waiting."  
  
I smiled at him before I stood up and approached Sasuke who again, was walking away from me.  
  
He stopped at a clearing. I saw him holding something. I looked closer and found out that it was a peach-colored paper. He stuffed it in his trouser's pocket and faced me.  
  
"I'm h-here to ask you if.. um.. how many days are we going to stay in the forest?" He asked me.  
  
"Oh uhm.. Two days and one night." I answered.  
  
Silence.  
  
"I didn't know that you and Gaara are getting along with each other." He spoke, breaking the silence.  
  
"Y-You saw.. it?" I nervously asked him.  
  
"Of course! I was about to approach you but then you called him and he helped you out.. Then you.. kissed him." He explained.  
  
"A-And so?" I asked him. This is the right time to know his true feelings for me. He wouldn't react if he doesn't like me, right?  
  
"I'm happy for you." He said with a grin. "Now no one will bother me, asking for a date or something.. And I owe it all to Gaara."  
  
Ouch! That really hurts! He sounded so.. happy. And that only proves that he doesn't.. like me the way I do for him.  
  
"B-But y-you uhm.. kissed me too, remember? What does i-it.. mean?" I asked him. And as usual, sensitive me conquered my heart and tears started to form in my eyes.  
  
He smirked.  
  
"Oh that? I knew Itachi was watching us so I kissed you to make him jealous." He answered.  
  
"A-And you said t-there's nothing he c-could do to take m-me away from you.. What about th-that?" I questioned him.  
  
"That's part of the plan of hurting Itachi's feelings.. That is if he does have feelings. That's a part of my revenge to him for taking away.. all that's precious to.. me." He answered. "Thanks for your cooperation, Sakura."  
  
Tears rolled down my cheeks as if it's a river that will never stop flowing.  
  
I watched him as he walked away from me. The tears blinded my vision.  
  
He had hurt my feelings too much. He scratched it, kicked it, punched it.. He tore my heart apart. And it really hurts a lot!  
  
I ran to him, grabbed his arm and spun him around. I slapped him really hard on his cheek. I guess he was unaware of that because his jaw dropped open as he touched his now burning cheek with his fingers.  
  
"I have loved you so much, Sasuke.. And everyday I wish that one day you'll notice my love for you.. I know you deserve more b-but this is.. this is me, this is all I am! I can never be the one that you love! I can never be the one you truly deserve. F-For you I'm just a tool for revenge. A stupid, pink haired, noisy admirer of yours. B-But I'm still an ordinary person who gets happy and.. hurt a-and that was too much.. If you cannot respect me as your friend, as I am, as Sakura please just respect me as a person.."  
  
After telling him what I felt that time, I left him there and headed straight to my home, crying.. just crying..  
  
-----  
  
For two days I didn't speak to Sasuke and I never thought that I could do that. I was so depressed. Gaara won't speak to me. Even Ino and Naruto noticed my sudden change. I simply can't pretend the way I could before.  
  
And now it's Saturday, camping day.. Of course Ino was so happy because Sasuke came. Naruto.. Well, he kept babbling to Sasuke, saying things like 'Sakura's mine!' or 'Sasuke, you jerk!'. Sasuke just ignored him completely and that made him angrier.  
  
I sighed. I sat alone in one chair at the bus and did nothing but stare at a plastic container with some cookies in it. I baked it last night and I planned of give it to Sasuke.. but I knew he would not accept it after what I have done to him.  
  
"Sakura, I'm worried about you.. A-Are you alright?" Ino asked me.  
  
I nodded and gave her a weak smile.  
  
"Uhm.. Ino, could you uh.. leave m-me alone for a while? I need some time to think.." I told her.  
  
She looked really worried but she left me anyway.. She sat next to Sasuke but he only shooed her away.  
  
I sighed as I looked at Rock Lee talking to Neji, boasting about his abilities, his looks, and told him how much he admires me. Oh yeah, Ino forgot to mention that he'll be coming maybe because of thinking too much about Sasuke.  
  
Sasuke.. I secretly glanced at him. He was sitting alone. He sighed as he looked outside the window. He's really bored, I could tell.  
  
Then I saw Gaara, sitting at a corner of the bus. Like me and Sasuke, he's also alone in there. His arms were crossed across his chest.  
  
Then I saw my classmate, Hinata who was sitting behind Naruto's chair. Naruto once told me that he finds that girl weird. I looked at her as she peacefully slept..  
  
Yeah, maybe a nap would be great and somehow help me forget my heartaches.  
  
I closed my eyes and slowly drifted to the world of dreams..  
  
-----  
  
The place was nice. It's full of tall trees and sweet humming of the birds could be heared. Everyone was so happy.  
  
My eyes roamed around the forest as we walked. The cerulean sky turned into red-orange as the dawn approached. And soon, it was dark.  
  
I felt hungry but when I looked around, I saw no one. I'm alone! I called their names but there was no answer. I shivered as I felt the chilly air touch my skin. I heared the sounds of the nocturnal creatures that dwell in the forest.  
  
I started to walk around in search of my friends, the gibbous moon guiding my way. The wind felt colder and I suddenly got an eerie feeling about it..  
  
My lips curved into a smile as I spotted a cave with a faint yellow light inside. They could be in there preparing our supper or what.  
  
I slowly walked inside the cave as the light grew brighter and brighter. Finally, I reached the bottom of the cave.  
  
My smile vanished upon seeing a person I hate. A person I wouldn't like to see forever..  
  
"Itachi.." I said, almost like a whisper.  
  
My eyes widened upon seeing two unconscious figures behind him. A raven- haired and a red-haired guy.. The causes of my confusion.. And the most precious persons in my life. Sasuke and Gaara..  
  
"What have you done to them?!" I snarled at the older Uchiha.  
  
He drew a katana from its case and held it in front of me.  
  
"Who would you choose to live, Sakura?" He asked me. This time, he pointed his katana on Sasuke and Gaara.  
  
It's as if he's asking me who is more precious.. Who is more important.. Who I love the most.. But I can't answer that. Not now..  
  
I couldn't do anything to save them because I'm weak, _weak_, WEAK! I kept on blaming myself. I was trembling a lot and soon tears started to roll down my cheeks.  
  
Itachi smirked at me. Then with a blink of an eye, he slit their throat and lots of blood gushed out from their neck. They're dead.. A-And it's all because of me..  
  
I collapsed on the cold, dirty ground upon seeing that.. That horrible incident.. Itachi licked the katana's blade that was covered by Sasuke and Gaara's blood before tossing it aside and paced towards me. He squatted down. His hand snaked at my back.. up to my scalp then he grabbed a handful of my pink hair and suddenly pulled it down. I whimpered.  
  
"You didn't choose anyone so I decided to kill both of them." He slowly licked his blood-coated lips. "So that I could have you.."  
  
I was trembling a lot and all I could do was cry.. I couldn't move like I was frozen in that spot.  
  
I could tell that he enjoyed seeing me like that.. So scared, so helpless and so damn weak.. I could tell just by looking at his eyes.  
  
I tried not to look at their lifeless bodies but my eyes failed me. As I looked at them, I felt more guilty and sad.  
  
Itachi smirked. He went closer to me and licked the tears that were rolling down my right cheek. That was more than I could tolerate. I knew I would only lose if I try to fight him. He's a lot stronger than I am! I couldn't even do anything to defend myself from that bastard..  
  
He crushed his lips against mine, pinning me down to the ground. I could taste their blood mixed with the salty taste of my tears and it felt so horrible.. He flashed me an evil grin as he started to undress me..  
  
"NOOOOOOO!!!"  
  
-----  
  
I slowly opened my eyes as I felt someone shook my shoulders.  
  
"Sakura, wake up! We're here now." That was Ino's voice.  
  
What the?! Oh I'm glad that was only a dream.. A nightmare.. And I'm happy that Sasuke and Gaara are still alive.. I inwardly smiled.  
  
"What? In the forest?" I asked.  
  
"Yes, yes now get up!" She said.  
  
I sighed as I took my bags and followed her outside the bus.  
  
-----  
  
It was already around five thirty in the afternoon when we finally reached our destination-- a clearing surrounded by gigantic trees.  
  
"I'm really hungry!" Naruto complained. "Good thing I brought some instant ramen with me.."  
  
"And where will you get hot water for that?" Neji asked him.  
  
"I've brought my thermos with me! Hah, hah, hah!" He proudly answered. He thought he's so smart.  
  
He put his bag down and began searching for his instant ramen and thermos.  
  
Gaara sat alone under a tree. My friends wouldn't even talk to him. Maybe it was a mistake bringing him here..  
  
"Hi Gaara.." I said as I sat beside him.  
  
He didn't answer nor even looked at me.  
  
"H-Have I done s-something.. wrong?" I asked him.  
  
".."  
  
"Gaara.. P-Please speak to m-me." I said.  
  
"You told me to wait for you at the bench.." He said. "but you never came. I was about to.. to.. te--, nevermind.."  
  
Oh, how stupid of me! I was too busy thinking and crying because of Sasuke.. I made my whole world revolve around him and I forgot the other people around me..

"What is it that you are supposed to tell me?" I asked him.

He glared at me but didn't answer my question.

"S-Sasuke and I.. h-had a misunderstanding.. A-And I was.. too depressed.. And.. Oh, I'm s-sorry.." I explained to him.  
  
He didn't answer me. He just stood up and walked away.  
  
"Gaara.." I called him.  
  
He stopped but didn't look at me.  
  
"I.. Uhm.. I.. j-just want you to uh.. know th-that I'm.. happy that you're h-here with.. me." I said. My cheeks felt hot.  
  
He started to walk again.  
  
"M-MY THERMOS! I-I-IT'S NOT.. H-HERE! OH SHIT! DAMN IT!" I suddenly heared Naruto scream.  
  
"Good thing I brought some fish to be cooked up on the camp fire." Shikamaru said with a grin.  
  
"B-B-B-BUT I.. I.. WANT MY RAMEN!!" Naruto retorted, almost like crying.  
  
"Hmf, dobe." I heared Sasuke say.  
  
"Why you dumbass Sasuke! I'm gonna beat the shit out of ya!" said Naruto.  
  
"Guys, guys!" I heared Ino say. "It's almost dinner time. Boys will go and find some twigs for the camp fire while us, girls will prepare the food."  
  
Naruto groaned. The guys went in different directions while the three of us gathered and prepared our supper.  
  
-----  
  
Hmm.. That was good! We finished eating and we got to set our tents up.  
  
I looked at my things, in search for my small tent. But..  
  
"M-My tent! W-Where's my tent?!"  
  
"A-Are you sure you lost it, Sakura?" asked Ino.  
  
"Yes! I looked through my things thoroughly but.. Oh my god! Where the hell am I going to sleep?!"  
  
I learned from Ino that the group only have three tents, each could have up to three persons inside. Tent number one is owned by Hinata. Naruto, Lee and of course Hinata will be sleeping in there. Tent number two, owned by Ino. Sleeping in there will be Ino, Shikamaru and Neji. Sasuke has his own tent and Gaara has his sleeping bag.  
  
"You could sleep in my.. tent." Sasuke offered.  
  
I thought he was.. angry with me..  
  
"WHAT?!" Naruto suddenly said. "Y-You pervert! When we go to sleep y-you will take advantage of my Sakura a--"  
  
"Naruto, Sasuke won't do that!" I said to him. I turned to Sasuke. "Uhm.. Thanks f-for the.. offer.."  
  
Well, I owe him one. I don't want to be sleeping outside.. After I dreamt about that horrible nightmare..  
  
"To be sure that no 'miracle' will happen, Sasuke could you let me sleep in your tent? There's a room for another person in there, right?" Ino said. It's obvious that she's jealous.  
  
"I want to sleep peacefully tonight. I wouldn't want another noisy girl inside my tent." He answered, flashing a disgusted look at Ino.  
  
Ino sighed.  
  
"Well, could you allow Gaara to sleep in your tent?" She asked again. There's no way she's going to let me sleep with Sasuke alone.  
  
"Whatever.." Sasuke monotonously replied.  
  
"I never thought that this camping trip would be SO boring.." Neji said as he sighed.  
  
"Yeah.." said Shikamaru. "How about a game?"  
  
"Hmm.. How about hide and seek?" Naruto suggested.  
  
Lee sighed. "Naruto, we're in a forest."  
  
"How about ramen eating contest?" The cerulean eyed boy suggested again with a big grin on his lips. We just glared at him.  
  
"How about the famous game of truth or dare?" Sasuke suggested.  
  
"Oh Sasuke that's such a good idea!" Ino exclaimed.  
  
-=-=-=-=-  
  
Sorry if this chapter sucks.. And um.. quite dark. I just can't stop thinking of Itachi and uhm.. unpure thoughts keep invading my mind.  
  
Oh yeah.. Please review!


	9. Why

WARNING: Lots of GaaSaku ahead. Don't like don't read. I warned you..  
  
**Chapter 9:** Why  
  
"So, how are we gonna do that?" Shikamaru asked. "Does anybody have a bottle?"  
  
"Uhm.. I.. I.. h-h-have a bottle.." Hinata shyly said. She brought her half- filled mineral water bottle from her bag.  
  
"Okay! Let's start the game!" Lee exclaimed and spinned the bottle. Its mouth pointed to.. Naruto!  
  
"Naruto, truth or dare?" Lee asked him.  
  
"Hm.. Dare, of course!" He haughtily answered.  
  
"Okay.." said Shikamaru with an evil grin. "No ramen for the rest of your life! Hahaha!"  
  
"Hey, that's too much!" Naruto complained.  
  
"It's a dare!" Shikamaru reminded him.  
  
"Or has the proud, brave, strong Naruto turned into a chicken?" Lee mocked him.  
  
"Who are you calling chicken, you thick eyebrowed dumbass?!" Naruto angrily said. He swallowed hard before speaking again. "O-Okay.. No ramen for.. the.. rest.. of my life."  
  
Oh, poor Naruto! It must have been very hard for him. He should've not accepted the dare. Thanks to his pride he won't have ramen for the rest of his life. But I know Naruto.. Ramen is his passion and he just can't live without it. Sooner or later he will go to Ichiraku and buy lots of his favorite miso ramen.  
  
I don't know why.. I suddenly remembered that bastard, Itachi and my horrible nightmare. It was so scary and it seemed so real. Can he just stay out of my life?!  
  
I smiled inwardly upon seeing Sasuke and Gaara here, with me. I don't know what to do if I lost one of them.. But one thing came into my mind. About that dream.. What if the time comes that I'll have to choose one of them? Sasuke who I love so much but doesn't feel the same for me or Gaara, a.. well, a very close friend of mine? I got more confused when I knew that I can't live without anyone them..  
  
I knew for sure that it was love that I felt for Sasuke.. But for Gaara.. I don't know if I only see him as my friend or.. more than that. I admit that well.. I kind of.. uhm.. like him at times but how can I continue to love a person who loves someone else? And how can I also continue loving a person who can never love me?  
  
I'm so confused..  
  
I looked at my friends. They were smiling, laughing.. They looked very happy.. Can I just be like them? Can I just be happy?  
  
I smiled a little as Naruto dared Neji to show his.. uhm.. underwear to us. That stupid Naruto! But you know, I envy him. Naruto is strong and he always seems to be happy despite all his problems.  
  
I sighed. Oh how I envy him..  
  
Neji unbuttoned his pants and it slipped down up to his knees, revealing to us his erm.. inner strength. Who would have thought that Hyuuga Neji, a genius from Ino's class, quiet type of guy, observant and cunning could be that.. daring. Naruto just can't think of any better, wholesome dare.  
  
Well anyway, its color was white. Neji was kind of cute when he blushed. I chuckled.  
  
-----  
  
"It's Sasuke's turn now!" Naruto exclaimed, sounding kind of like now-I-can- have-my-revenge-on-you. "Okay, here's you're dare, stupid Sasuke! Yo--"  
  
"Hey Naruto you always give the dare!" Ino cut him. Naruto gave lots of stupid ideas for the dare. Maybe Ino doesn't want Sasuke to experience shame and hardship, if that's the right term for it. "Give us a chance!"  
  
"This is between me and Sasuke." Naruto said. "So stay out of it!"  
  
"Sasuke.." Ino called him in a sweet voice. "Kiss the one you could possibly like in this group.."  
  
Ino looked so confident that Sasuke will kiss her. We'll know the answer soon..  
  
He stood up and walked past Ino.. Where's he heading?  
  
I knew the answer when he squatted down in front of me. He gave me a sweet smile before his lips slowly touched mine a--  
  
-----  
  
"Since G-Gaara is our s-special guest today," I heared Ino say.  
  
Was I day dreaming again? I sighed.  
  
"H-He'll have to do the special d-dare.. Uhm.. Neji, explain it t-to him." She continued.  
  
Neji, with his arms crossed across his chest, began explaining what that 'special dare' was.  
  
"It's easy. All you have to do is.." He got a little strawberry from Ino's basket. "put this strawberry into the mouth of the girl you could possibly like in this group and retrieve it by any means you'd like."  
  
Neji passed the strawberry to Gaara. The red-haired guy stood up and walked slowly towards.. my direction.  
  
He squatted down in front of me, his face still emotionless. He suddenly pushed the strawberry into my slightly open mouth. It almost choked me! Now what will he do to get the strawberry fro--  
  
He suddenly pushed me down to the grassy ground and crushed his lips against mine. I felt his tongue move inside my mouth, exploring it, in search for that red fruit..  
  
The strawberry went deeper into my mouth when he pushed me down and because of that, his tongue dived deeper until it touched the fruit..  
  
He crawled away from me and chewed that fruit, my favorite fruit, slowly..  
  
I've never experienced a kiss like that.. I sat back. I was so dumb strucked about that dare thingy.. My mind was on clouds.  
  
"Sakura?" I heared Ino call my name.  
  
"Truth or dare?" She asked me.  
  
I'm not in a mood to do unearthly, stupid or daring things so I chose truth.  
  
"Who was your first kiss?" Ino asked.  
  
I was quite startled by her question. You know that Sasuke was my first kiss.. But I think it's best not to tell them. And besides I think he doesn't want them to know at all. It was just a part of his revenge, anyway..  
  
"Uhm.. Ga-Gaara.." I lied. "Y-You know.. when h-he did th-that special dare.."  
  
I blushed a little upon remembering that incident.  
  
I spun the bottle and it pointed to.. Sasuke. My heart beated faster. I didn't know why I felt so nervous..  
  
"Truth." Sasuke said without me asking him.  
  
I expected that he'll choose dare, like what I had day dreamed. And because of my expectation, I was not prepared to ask him a sensible question.  
  
"H-Have you ever been.. in love?" That question suddenly popped out of my mind. That was the same question I asked Gaara before.. I still clearly remember that rainy night.  
  
Everybody focused their attention to him. Even if he's into showbusiness, his personal life was kept hidden. He's really good in keeping his secrets. That was like interviewing the famous Uchiha Sasuke!  
  
"I don't have time for any serious relationship." He paused. "But of course I've been in love.."  
  
"Oooh.. I didn't know that the super star, Uchiha Sasuke has a heart that could love!" Naruto mocked him. "You and Gaara are almost as cold and as hard as a rock!"  
  
"Stupid Naruto!" Ino said. "Sasuke is different.. He's handsome, a good actor that could almost make me cry, loving person while Gaara is a sch--"  
  
"Hey stop it!" I almost shouted at my best friend.  
  
"Naruto is right, Sakura." Sasuke said. "I'm as cold and hard as a rock, an ice cube--"  
  
"You're wrong!" I cut him. "Why do you let people judge you before they could even get to know you?!" I looked at Gaara. "You know it's not true but then y-you let them judge you! H-How could you tolerate that?"  
  
Gaara stood up and headed to Sasuke's tent.  
  
Everyone fell silent.  
  
"You don't know anything about me.." Sasuke said and walked away.  
  
-----  
  
That night around 11:00, when everyone were in their respective tents and sleeping, I sneaked out of Sasuke's tent and headed to a small river I saw earlier. It was really hot in there so I decided to take a bath. And besides I couldn't sleep with Sasuke and Gaara by my sides..  
  
I slowly took of my clothes and soaked myself to the chilly water. It didn't matter to me if it was cold. I just want the dirt to be washed away and to chill my sweaty body.  
  
I stared at the full moon's reflection on the water. It was really beautiful and it provided me some light. I looked at the starless sky. Cold air touched my skin and it sent shivers to my spine.  
  
Ahh.. Finally a peaceful place without a noisy Naruto. Now I could think clearly..  
  
_You don't know anything about me.._  
  
I remembered what Sasuke said earlier. I knew he has an older brother that he really hates, a mansion full of servants, he's also smart, handsome and very popular.. But I knew that wasn't what he meant. What's important is what's inside. If you know a person by his heart, that means you truly know him. That's what Sasuke meant.  
  
I soaked my whole body to the water for some seconds. Hmm.. That felt great! I popped my head to the surface and breathed. I leaned against a big rock. I bent my legs slightly so the water could cover my naked chest.  
  
I've been in there for quite a while and finally, I decided to go back. Before I could even stand up, I heared a swish in the water. I thought it was just the wind but suddenly I heared a splash.  
  
I've got company.. The sound was quite faint so maybe he or she was some meters away from me. I listened to the sound of the water and it got louder and clearer. I lowered my body to the water so only my eyes and nose could be seen.  
  
I knew for sure that it was a boy, I saw his upper body with a help from the moonlight. But who could it be?  
  
I looked closer to him. I could only see his naked back. Pale skin.. Uhm.. Let's see.. Red hair.. Gaara!  
  
"What are you looking at?" He asked in his normal tone. I can't believe that he noticed me!  
  
I was startled and was ready to run away. An idea of him hurting then killing me suddenly popped up in my mind. I immediately stood up. I noticed that he suddenly looked away from me. What could be the reason? Am I ugly or what? I decided to see for myself and I immensely blushed upon seeing my naked body flashed before him! Oh, good gods I was saved! The water covered the lower part of my body while my long hair protected my bosoms from his eyes. I dived back down.  
  
"Uhm.. I.. I.. I'm sorry. Erm.. Re-Really I'm sorry.." I apologized to him. I was blushing scarlet and I felt really embarrassed.  
  
"You should always be alert." He answered. He bent his legs a little and leaned on the other side of the big rock.  
  
I leaned against the opposite side of the rock where Gaara leaned. My legs were still shaking in embarrasment. How could I be so.. stupid? Argh! I hate myself!  
  
"Y-You c-can't also sleep?" I asked him, trying to start a nice conversation.  
  
"It's hot." He answered.  
  
"Y-Yeah.. S-Surely y-you're not following me, right?"  
  
"Of course not." He answered. "I just felt like taking a bath.."  
  
"Uhm.. Did you enjoy the camp?" I asked again. I can't think of anything nice to talk about and now I sounded like a mother asking her child about his day.  
  
"No." He replied.  
  
There was silence in the air. The wind grew colder..  
  
"Hey Gaara," I said, breaking the awkward silence. "Do you miss her?"  
  
Oh yeah, I love talking about his love life but when it comes to mine, forget it nothing will interest you.  
  
"Yes.." He sighed. "Is there something you'd like to tell me?"  
  
Here I was again, acting like a brave little girl. Well, all I could do was pretend. No matter how much I try, I can't be as strong as Naruto, Sasuke and Gaara..  
  
I started shed tears.  
  
"Sasuke.. H-He told me th-that he only kissed me to make his brother j- jealous. For him I'm only a tool for his revenge. I.. I was so hurt, Gaara!" I explained to him. "A-And now I realized how lucky I.. I am t-to have you as a.. as a friend. Thank you very much for being with me always.."  
  
"If one day he'll tell you that he loves you for real, are you going back to him?" He asked me.  
  
Yeah, what if that day comes? But will it ever come? Should I go back to him? Will he really love me for real? Lots of questions swirled into my mind.  
  
"I.. I.. d-don't know. I'm getting tired of loving him. He keeps on rejecting me and that really hurts.." I answered him. "I cannot say 'yes' to a thing that is nearly impossible to happen. You know, sometimes I think that were not meant for each other.." I sighed. "Only destiny could tell.."  
  
"But destiny is sometimes wrong." Gaara said. He could be true but.. "You think that you're destined to be with him? Ridiculous.. Sometimes you think that this is the right thing for you then you'll do it. But in the end you will realize that it was a big mistake and you'll wish to the gods to turn back time but that is really impossible. What I'm trying to say is that you should be careful with what you choose to do for you can never change it. Try to open your heart and you will find the answer to your question.."  
  
Was he trying to tell me that Sasuke will be my big mistake in the future? Does he mean that I should love again and that would answer the question that lingers in my heart? Maybe he's right but Gaara, I'm still confused..  
  
"Gaara, why are you telling me this?" I asked him.  
  
He was silent for quite a while but I waited for his answer.  
  
"B-Because I care for you.." He replied in a surprisingly soft tone.  
  
I was quite startled by his answer. He _cares_ for me..  
  
"Why?" I questioned him.  
  
I knew that he stood up because of the sound of the water. I wasn't looking at him but I heared him walking then he stopped. Chilly air once again touched my flesh.  
  
".. Because I loved you.." He answered. There was a big lump on my throat and I found it hard to speak.  
  
"L-Loved? W-Why not love?" I asked him. There's a slight difference between those two words. Loved is the past tense of love. Why?  
  
"I never knew the existence of that thing called love.. So people judge me a lot of times but I don't really give a damn about it. I like it when they just stay away from me. Then she came into my life.. Explained how life would be so beautiful if I open my heart and.. love. I really want to thank her.. I really want to thank her for showing me what love was. I really want to thank.. you, Sakura. I wanted to show you love but you wouldn't let me.. You're too busy with Sasuke. I.. was so afraid that time when I realized that I've fallen in love with you because love was like something new for me a-and I feared that you might reject me.. But like what you had taught me, I became brave and accepted the challenges of love. A-And when I knew that you just can't let him go, I was so disappointed b-but I respected your decision.. b-because I want you to be happy! A-And then the feeling of numbness came back, like love never exists in my life again. I.. I.. forgot how to love.."  
  
My eyes widened upon hearing his answer. Such a long answer for such a short question but that explained all.. I can't give him any answer.  
  
I heared him walking away but then he stopped when I called his name. I stood up, not minding my state of nakedness. I paced towards him and now I'm facing his back.  
  
Now I knew my answer..  
  
I slowly placed my arms around him, my forehead leaning against his back.  
  
"Gaara, thank you for making me so happy. And you know, I think I also forgot how to love.. B-But we c-could learn t-together.." I said. This time, I wasn't crying, I was smiling..  
  
I felt some liquid fall to my arms. For the first time in my life, I saw him cry.. That was new for me. Hmm.. Maybe I was judging him before I could even get to know him. My smile grew bigger.  
  
"Th-Thank you, Sakura.. Let's discover that thing called love.. together." He said.  
  
Now I'm sure. I'm definitely sure about my feelings for him. I'm sure that I like him more than just a friend..  
  
-=-=-=-=-  
  
Uhm.. Yah, I know. Again, sorry if this chapter sucks. If you didn't like it because of the pairing, well I've warned you already. I felt happy for Gaara and Sakura but I felt sad for myself after rereading this chapter. Some parts came from my personal experience (sigh)..  
  
Review people and tell me what you think..


	10. The Visit

**Chapter 10:** The Visit  
  
It's been about two months since our camping trip. I never thought that I'd be so happy again. I'm back to my 'normal' self.. The normal Sakura who is cheerful, noisy, smart and doesn't need to pretend..  
  
For me, it was like a new life.. A new life with Gaara. Together we slowly learned what that 'love' was.. What its essence was.. We still haven't found the right answers but I know that someday, we will.. Together.  
  
I'm happy with him. He never made me sad. Well, he did made me cry but those tears were tears of joy.  
  
About Sasuke.. Hmm.. At first I found it really hard to forget about him.. My love for him and the pain it put me through. But as the days passed by, I forgot all about the pain. We remained as friends. I remained as his number one fan. We still talked to each other-- I asked him about his upcoming movies, how hard showbusiness was, how happy he was without me in his life, bugging him for a date or something..  
  
He told me before that he was happy for me, right? I sure hope that he'll find the 'one' for him.. So that he can also be happy.  
  
For the past few days I noticed some changes about him. Although he acts just the way he was before-- silent, I-don't-give-a-damn attitude, smart-- I could sense that there was something different about him.. Whenever I talk to him about Gaara, he'll just walk away like he was avoiding me. Or sometimes he says comments rather sarcastically. He wasn't like that before.. Not even after the camp. Just now.. What's wrong with him?  
  
I care about him because he's my friend.. Friends care about each other, right? I.. I was just concerned about him.. Nothing more!  
  
Gaara and I sat on the usual swings at the same playground while I listened to his story. I felt contented by just looking at him.. Hearing him speak.. Being with him. I felt so happy and secured.  
  
Maybe he noticed that I was staring at him.  
  
"Is there something wrong?" He asked.  
  
"N-No.." I smiled at him.  
  
He sighed.  
  
"Well anyway this was what he did--" He continued.  
  
"Uhm.. Gaara.. I just want you.. Erm.. to know that I'm happy with you.." I cut him.  
  
His face remained expressionless but I knew deep inside that he's smiling. He stood up and put his arms around me.  
  
"You always say that.." He chuckled a little.  
  
"I know, I know.. But I just want you to know that.. I'm very happy each day that I am with you.." I said in a soft tone.  
  
"You'll never know how much you're making me happy.." He answered. "You'll never know how much Haruno Sakura means to me.."  
  
Oh, I remember that line clearly. I told him before that I was hoping that the girl will recognize his feelings for her while I wished that Sasuke will love me in return.  
  
_I hope he'll realize just how much Sasuke means to Sakura.._  
  
Yup, that was my wish before. But now, I'm satisfied with my life. I'm happy.. and I found that happiness with Gaara. Could he be the answer to the question that has been in my heart for a long time? I don't know.. For I don't even know what that question was. But sooner or later I know I will.  
  
I hugged him back. I could smell his spicy scent. We were like that for a while.. Hugging, just hugging, in silence..  
  
Like before, it started to rain..  
  
"Sakura, do you notice that everytime we're together in this place it rains?" Gaara asked me.  
  
"Well, I don't remember that it rained the day I felt so dizzy and you brought me to your house.." I told him.  
  
"It did.." He said. "I wonder why.."  
  
"Yeah.. Uhm Gaara, let's go home now.. I wouldn't want to catch cold and I don't want you to get sick." I said with a nice grin.  
  
Together, we went to my apartment..  
  
-----  
  
Gaara had some things to do in his house so he was quite busy. Today, I'm not with him. Ino was with Shikamaru, Naruto, Hinata and Lee. I'm alone..  
  
As I was walking back to my apartment, I passed the Uchiha residence. Oh, that marvelous mansion! I wanted to drop by for a visit for Sasuke but Itachi.. That bastard! He'll be in there then seduce me again! Should I go? But I'm worried about Sasuke.. He seemed so different these days..  
  
Sasuke didn't attend classes for three days. I asked Kakashi-sensei for his reason but he just told me that Sasuke filed a leave of absence about six days ago. The reason was private, Kakashi-sensei said. I'm really worried about him..  
  
Nah.. Forget about the bastard. After all, he's not the intention of my visit but his younger brother. But I knew I got to be more careful.  
  
"Oh.. Hello.. Uhm.. Guard.." I said. "Is Sasuke home?"  
  
"How are you related to Young Master Sasuke?" The raven-haired guard asked.  
  
"I'm his friend." I answered.  
  
"Are you scheduled to have a meeting with the Young Master today?" He asked again. Why does he ask a lot of questions? It's so irritating!  
  
"N-No.. I just thought of.. visiting him." I replied.  
  
"What is your name?" The guard asked me.. again. I felt so irritated that I answered him--  
  
"Hi! I'm Haruno Sakura. I'm fourteen years old and my birthday is on the 28th of March. I'm currently living alone in a small apartment near the Uchiha mansion. I love strawberries and I hate Orochimaru-sensei for giving us hard assignments. Last school year, I received an award as the most outstanding student." I sighed. "Anything else you'd like to know, Mr. Guard?"  
  
"That's quite an introduction." He said with a small grin. "I was only asking for your name. Anyway, you said you are Haruno Sakura. Wait.."  
  
I watched him as he scanned something on a notebook.  
  
"Oh, Miss Haruno! Please come in!" He politely said with a big smile. What's with the sudden change?  
  
The guard called a female servant and she escorted me to the mansion.  
  
-----  
  
We stopped in front of a big, white door. I couldn't tell the differences of the rooms for they all have the same color and size of doors. Surely it wasn't the living room but I think I've seen that place before..  
  
"Be careful, Miss.." The maid whispered to me. That sounded like a warning. She gave me a little bow before quickly walking away. It looked to me that she was afraid but why?  
  
I sighed before opening the huge door. My eyes widened upon seeing that same dark room.. That same black couch and the fireplace. Itachi's room. Why did the maid brought me here? I was looking for Sasuke, not Itachi! Oh, unless..  
  
"I've been expecting you, Sakura." I heared that familiar voice. Itachi's voice.. That bastard! Although I couldn't see him clearly because of the darkness, I knew he had a smirk on his face. "Please have a seat."  
  
.. Unless he was expecting me and ordered the servants to bring me in there.  
  
"Why am I here?! I'm looking for Sasuke, not you!" I snarled at him. I didn't leave my spot even if he told me to sit down. I wouldn't want to be seduced by that maniac again.  
  
"Sasuke isn't here right now." He said. "He is in another country, shooting for his upcoming movie."  
  
"Oh.. Then I guess I'll have to leave now." I angrily said.  
  
In a split second he was right behind me. He moved so fast I didn't notice him! How the hell did he do that?  
  
Like before, he put one of his arms around my shoulders and the other around my waist. His chin rested on my shoulder. I felt so scared all of a sudden. I felt so uncomfortable him being so close to me. This time there will be no Sasuke to save me. This time I'll have to defend myself..  
  
"W-What do.. y-you w-want from m-me?" I nervously asked him, almost like a whisper.  
  
"Leaving so soon?" He said. "Don't leave me alone. Entertain me.." His voice suddenly became.. seductive.  
  
Now I knew what he wants. That bastard! I wouldn't let him do that to me! Like before, I bit his arm and kept my distance from him.  
  
"I knew you'll do that.." He said with a smug smile.  
  
I looked around then I realized that I was already inside his room! He closed the door and slowly paced towards me.  
  
"W-Why are you.. doing this to me?!" I asked him. Tears started to form in my eyes.  
  
"I'm interested with Sasuke's new toy.." Itachi answered with a smirk.  
  
"Maybe you're just jealous!" I said. "You saw him kissing me.. A-And you were hurt by that.."  
  
"He kissed you? Really.. Too bad I didn't see that.."  
  
"Liar! You're jealous!" I retorted. Crystal beads rolled down my cheeks.  
  
"If you don't believe me why don't you ask my foolish brother again. He probably made that all up.." Itachi said.  
  
Made that all up? But why? I thought he doesn't like me at all.. I thought he finds me annoying.. I thought I was just a tool for his revenge.. I was speechless for quite a while.  
  
"Stop crying.. It annoys me damn lot." He said. "Have a seat. I'll just get some drinks for us.." He then headed to a room that seemed to be a small kitchen.  
  
Hey, what's with the sudden change? When I entered here he sounded so dangerous.. then seductive.. then now kind? What's wrong with him? Unless he had some dirty plans..  
  
I sighed.  
  
I think Itachi is the kind of person who keeps his words. Maybe.. I don't know..  
  
I sat on the couch. I wanted to ask him a lot of questions about Sasuke. Was he telling me the truth? That he wasn't watching while Sasuke kissed me and that maybe his younger brother made that all up? But why? I wanted to know..  
  
Itachi reappeared with two glasses of orange juice on a tray. He had a very small smile on his lips which, I think, was rather unusual. He put the tray on top of the table in front of me. I was quite thirsty but orange juice made by Itachi.. Would that be safe?  
  
"Don't worry, it's safe." He said, as if he could read my mind.  
  
I nodded slightly. He gave me a glass of juice and sat down beside me. I didn't know why I stayed when I had a chance to escape that time when he was at the kitchen. Maybe he knew that I wouldn't escape. He wouldn't leave me if he knew that I will in the first place. Maybe he knew that I wanted to know something..  
  
"When's he coming back?" I asked the older Uchiha.  
  
"Who cares.. He rarely speak to me." He answered while staring at the flame.  
  
I sipped some orange juice from the glass. Well, it tasted good.. Better than mine.. I drank more.  
  
"Are you still interested with Sasuke?" He asked me.  
  
I was quite surprised by his question. I thought he doesn't care about Sasuke.. Why would he be asking me a question like that?  
  
"Uhm.. No.. I only see him as a friend." I answered. Oh really Sakura? Who are you kidding.. Argh! Stop those thoughts! I told him the truth!  
  
"Oh.. I see you are interested with that red-haired friend of yours." He said. "If I remember correctly his name is Gaara, right?"  
  
How the hell did he know Gaara's name and that I like him? I asked him that question.  
  
"One night I heared Sasuke cursing that guy called Gaara. Then I sensed something different about him this past few days.. Well I was quite surprised when I learned that my silly little brother is in love.. And he's jealous.." He replied, this time looking at me.  
  
"Jealous? A-And why would he be.. jealous?" I asked him. Of course I knew that Itachi was lying. And what's with the look? Was he trying to tell me that I am Sasuke's source of jealousy? Well Sasuke isn't in love with me, for his information. So what's the reason?  
  
"You still don't get it, do you.." I heared him say.  
  
Slowly, my vision started to blur. I couldn't see him clearly. I dropped the glass and I suddenly felt so sleepy.  
  
"I told you it was safe. I didn't put poison in it, just sleeping powder.." He said. I saw that he smirked at me then he said some more words like 'you're mine now..' in a seductive way..  
  
Oh, no! Was he going to.. No! No! Sakura, fight! Don't close your eyes! I kept on urging myself but my eyelids felt so heavy.  
  
The last thing I knew was that he crawled on top of me and I felt his damp lips kissing my neck.. Biting.. Hungrily sucking my skin..  
  
I wanted to fight him.. That.. That bastard.. H-How could he.. But I felt so weak and.. drowzy..  
  
My eyes slowly closed, nothing but pure darkness..  
  
-=-=-=-=-  
  
Sorry for the short chapter.. Review please. Thanks a lot!


	11. Miracles Do Happen

_You're my you. Even more no one else I'll adore.._  
  
**Chapter 11:** Miracles Do Happen  
  
I looked around. It was that same playground again. And there, on that same swing, sat Gaara. He looked really happy. He had a beautiful smile on his lips, the one that is as bright as the sunshine.. It was rather unusual for me seeing him smile like that. But it was really beautiful..  
  
_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.._  
  
I ran to him and hugged him tightly. It's as if I haven't seen him for a very long time. It felt so wonderful and so warm..  
  
_You make me happy when skies turn gray..  
_  
"Gaara.." I softly said. "I missed you so much.."  
  
He didn't answer me. He just ran his hand through my long, pink hair. That felt good..  
  
"I thought you'll never come back.." He said.  
  
What was he talking about? I never left him.. Why was he telling me that? So strange..  
  
_You'll never know dear how much I love you..  
_  
"I'm happy that you're here with me again.." He continued.  
  
Even though I can't understand what he was talking about, I just remained silent. It's enough for me just to feel his touch.. To hear his voice.. Just to be with him. I don't care whatever happened to me as long as I'm back in his arms again.. Oh, I missed him so much..  
  
We were silent for quite a while..  
  
"Sakura.." I heard him say. "If I'm gone will you search for me?"  
  
I smiled at him.  
  
"Of course I will.." I answered. ".. Because I love you.. Why?"  
  
"I'm glad to hear that.." He said with that beautiful smile. "Because I will if I lost you.."  
  
"Why?" I asked him again.  
  
"Because I love you.." He replied then placed a light kiss on my forehead. He hugged me tighter. "I love you very much, Sakura.." He whispered to my ear. I slowly closed my eyes.  
  
/White light/  
  
I opened my eyes. I was shocked when I saw Gaara lying on my arms, with bruises all over his body and lots of blood. Was he..? No! That can't be! Just can't..  
  
I shook him. I was crying so much.  
  
"Gaara? Gaara..?!" I kept on calling his name in the hopes of waking him up. I smiled when his eyes opened a little. He flashed me a weak smile. He held my hand and squeezed it softly.  
  
"I will love you.. f-forever.. Sakura.. I.. promise.." That was his last words before he.. he died in my arms.  
  
"Let him be.." I heard a very familiar voice say. I looked at the speaker.  
  
Sasuke.. Why was he talking like that? It's as if he was so happy seeing Gaara dead. Or was he just happy seeing me so miserable?  
  
"S-Sasuke.. W-Why?" I asked.  
  
He went closer to me.  
  
"I can make you happy, Sakura.." He answered then placed a light kiss on my lips. "Leave him and together we shall experience happiness and love.."  
  
He pulled my arm up, leaving Gaara's lifeless body on the ground. Then it started to rain like before..  
  
_Please don't take my sunshine away..  
_  
-----  
  
I shivered. The blanket was not enough to warm my body. I slowly opened my eyes. Another sunny morning.. Ahh.. Morning. I love morning.. For I'll get to see my friends again.. My favorite actor, Uchiha Sasuke.. And of course, my Gaara.. I smiled.  
  
Why do I keep on having such horrible dreams? Gaara.. and Sasuke.. Nah, that was just a dream. Dreams doesn't come true, right?  
  
I hope so.. I sighed. I shook those thoughts about my horrible dream.  
  
There's nothing better than to wake up in.. Another person's room?! Oh gods, where the heck am I?! That wasn't my room! That room was too dark and there's a fireplace, a black couch and.. I don't have those!  
  
Oh shit! Itachi's room.. I shivered more..  
  
Was that a dream again? But it felt so real.. I thought dreams doesn't come true..  
  
I looked under the blanket and.. I don't have clothes! Nothing, as in nothing.. Oh gods, what happened to me?!  
  
I sat on the bed and quickly searched for my clothes.. I saw my blouse then my skirt but both were torn in the middle.. How would I be able to wear those? That bastard!  
  
"Oh so you're awake now.." That was Itachi's voice. "Did you sleep well?"  
  
"What did you do to me?!" I snarled at him.  
  
He sat beside me on the bed.  
  
"Oh, so you want me to tell you about our previous activity?" He said with a smirk on his lips. He went closer to me and I backed away.  
  
"You want me to tell you how our lips met? How I touched every part of your beautiful body and how you moaned in pleasure.."  
  
_"Oh.. P-Please.. M-More.."  
  
"Touch.. Me.. Th-There.."_  
  
I could only remember fragments of it. He's lying! He's lying! That's not true! I kept on telling myself. I can't possibly do that.. That was just a dream and I will wake up soon!  
  
"How I made you scream so loud.. How I made you scream for more.. How I made you experience euphoria?" He went on and on.  
  
_"Uh.. D-Don't.. S-Stop.. Please!!"  
_  
"How you begged me to continue? How you--"  
  
I covered my ears with both hands. I was crying a lot. I don't want to hear more of his lies..  
  
"Th-That's not true.. Nothing h-happened! You're lying! Liar! Th-This is just a d-dream!" I screamed at him hysterically.  
  
"You don't believe me? Reality sure does hurt a lot sometimes.." His smirk grew bigger.  
  
He cupped my cheek and placed a kiss on my lips. I was too terrified to move.  
  
"You want me to continue?" He spoke.  
  
"N-No.. Please.. Stop." I pleaded him. I was so scared. What will happen to me if Ino, Naruto, Sasuke.. and Gaara knew about this? Are they going to hate me?  
  
"W-Why.. W-Why m-me?" I asked him, almost like a whisper. I was trembling a lot.  
  
"I told you I'm interested with Sasuke's new toy. I'm interested with you.." He slowly licked his blood-red lips.  
  
He stood up and sat on the couch.  
  
"I guess it's time to tell your friends what happened to us.. Especially your boyfriend.."  
  
I stood up and walked in front of him, using the blanket to cover my body.  
  
"Please d-don't.. tell.. them.." I actually begged him. More tears sprang from my eyes. "Please.."  
  
"Okay.. Don't worry, I wouldn't ask for something in return, my Sakura.." He flashed me an evil grin.  
  
He stood up and caressed my cheek before devouring my mouth.  
  
-----  
  
I think he was really prepared for my arrival.. and that.. that you know what. He gave me some expensive girl's clothes to use instead of my old clothes that he tore. Of course I can't possibly use that..  
  
My mind was on clouds.. What if Gaara knew about that? I fear rejection so much.. I don't want to be sad again. Will he still accept me?  
  
Why did Itachi do that to me? Does he want to ruin my life? Well congratulations to him, his plan was almost twenty percent complete.. Damn it! I hate him! I hate myself for being so stupid!  
  
I was crying a lot as I was walking back my apartment. I think I can't face them.. I can't face my friends! I can't face my Gaara.. I'm ashamed of myself..  
  
_You want me to tell you how our lips met..  
_  
Itachi's voice suddenly rang into my mind. Of all the girls out there, why me? Why..  
  
I was standing in front of my apartment's door when I saw a limousine stop by. It looked so familiar to me.. Sasuke's car..  
  
He disembarked from the limousine and approached me.  
  
"How are you?" He asked me. He's worried about me? Oh, that's a miracle.. That's a damn miracle..  
  
"F-Fine.." I answered.  
  
"You don't look so fine to me."  
  
"You shouldn't have asked me in the first place.." I retorted.  
  
"Anyway, you should be at school right now.." He said. He doesn't sound concerned or worried.  
  
I felt angry. I don't want to be interrogated that time. I just want to rest in my room. Sleep on my bed, hoping that no tomorrow will come for me..  
  
"Why should you care?!" I asked him while crying. "You kept on ignoring me before, right? You kept on rejecting me.. Saying bad things about me.. What's with the sudden change?!"  
  
He was silent. I cried more. He advanced towards me and slowly placed his arms around me, his chin rested on my head.  
  
"I'm sorry.." Sasuke whispered.  
  
I felt angrier that I pushed him away.  
  
"Sorry? Well Uchiha Sasuke, if this is a part of your plan of hurting your brother's feelings, forget about it! I can't understand you! I hope you never came back to ruin my happy life.."  
  
"I'm sorry I'm just not an expressive person.. I was not brave enough to tell you how much I--"  
  
"This is part of your plan, isn't it? Sasuke please be honest with me.. What am I to you?" I asked him. I wanted to know that so much.  
  
He pulled me into an embrace.  
  
"Everything.." He whispered to my ear. "I swear to the gods, that is not a lie.." There was sincerity in his voice. Something rather.. unusual for me..  
  
_/Sakura, don't let him fool you! Gods, he's an award winning actor! He was just acting../_ My inner self said.  
  
She might be right but.. I don't know.. There was something in him.. And that something was enough for me to trust his words. Well, almost..  
  
My eyes widened upon hearing that. I've longed for him to say those words. But why now? Now that I am happy.. But I knew I've got to be strong. I knew I've got to accept the fact that he can never love me.. That he was lying.. I pushed him away.  
  
"I've longed to hear those words from you, Sasuke.. That you care for me.. You know that.. I'm happy now b-but then you came back and told me that.. that I'm everything to you?! Well, shut the fuck up! Y-You're too late, Sasuke.. I'm happy now.. Happy with Gaara. So please.. s-stop it.." I told him.  
  
It was so hard not to let the tears fall. It hurts a lot.. I wanted to cry but I don't want him to see me like that.. I wanted to be strong in front of him.  
  
I waited for his answer but no reply came so I opened the door and walked away..  
  
"It hurts a lot, right?" I heard him say.  
  
I stopped but didn't look at him.  
  
"To pretend that you are strong but inside.. you're dying.." He continued.  
  
My eyes widened. It's as if he could read me like an open book! I looked back at him.  
  
"W-What are y-you.. talking a-about?" I asked as if what he said wasn't true.  
  
"You went to my house. Tell me what happened that you returned here sad and.. crying.." He said.  
  
I knew I couldn't always please everyone and myself. I tried my best but I can't hold the tears back any longer. I remembered Itachi's smirk. What he said to me.. It felt so disgusting.. So dirty..  
  
"Why sh-should you c-care..?" I angrily asked him.  
  
"Because it hurts me a lot seeing you so sad and crying.." He answered, almost like a whisper.  
  
He paced towards me and gave me a hug. His hand ran through my long hair. I just let him do that to me for it felt so comfortable..  
  
I cried and cried in his arms. I guess I needed someone to talk to.. We went inside my apartment and I told him what happened to me..  
  
-----  
  
Gaara and I met at the playground later that afternoon..  
  
"You worried me to death.." He said. "I thought you'll never come back.."  
  
_I thought you'll never come back..  
_  
I suddenly remembered my dream that morning. I shuddered.  
  
I held his hand and gave it a squeeze.  
  
"I'll never leave you, Gaara.." I gave him a reassuring smile.  
  
_If I'm gone, will you search for me?  
_  
Oh, that dream again.. Why does it keep on haunting me? I told Gaara about that..  
  
"That's just a dream.." He said.  
  
"Yes but it scares me a lot.. I don't know.. What if--"  
  
"No matter what happens, I'll still cherish you.." He cut me.  
  
I inwardly smiled. We were silent for a while..  
  
"Gaara, do you believe in miracles?" I asked him, breaking the silence. That question suddenly popped out of my mind.  
  
"You know, I've heard a lot of people asking the gods for miracles-- that they will have more money, success, long life.. I think that was rather absurd. They don't realize that when they wake up another morning is a miracle itself. Life is a miracle. I live another life with you and it makes me feel so happy.. So happy to experience miracle.. Because I have you.. That's why I'll always treasure all the days of my life that I am with you, Sakura.."  
  
Why didn't I think about that? Life is a miracle.. While I was talking to Sasuke earlier I wished that no tomorrow will come to me when I sleep.. How could I be so selfish? I was only thinking of myself. Despite all the hardships of life my friends are still with me.. And my Gaara. They care for me. They are the reason why I wake up every morning and face new challenges that life would offer. They are the reason why I still would want to live this cruel life. And they are the reason why I will still keep on surviving..  
  
Especially _him_.. He taught me a lot of beautiful things..  
  
Miracles do happen..  
  
"Anyway, where were you yesterday?" He asked me. "I called you in your apartment but there was no answer.."  
  
I knew he would ask that.  
  
"Uhm.. I w-was so tired yesterday th-that I slept early.." I lied. I flashed him a weak grin.  
  
I didn't think that I convinced him. Gaara is smart and he isn't the type of person that you could easily out-smart.  
  
"I understand." He said. Good thing he isn't the type of person who will force you to do or tell him something.  
  
I stared at the ground.  
  
"Th-Thank you.." I answered.  
  
Silence.  
  
"Sasuke's back.. Have you seen him already?" He asked, breaking the long silence.  
  
"Uhm.. Y-Yes.. I met him this morning.."  
  
Again, silence filled the air for quite a long time..  
  
"I'm not a good liar, am I?" I told him with a small smile. He nodded slightly. I slowly closed my eyes, trying to hold the tears back.  
  
"What's been bothering you?" He asked me.  
  
"I tried to hide you the truth.. B-But I can't. I know that after I tell you what's been bothering me, you'll hate me for sure.." I sighed. "Itachi.. I went to Sasuke's house yesterday uhm.. to pay him a visit. I was quite worried about him.. A-And it happened so fast and I woke up a-and Itachi told me.. H-He touched m-me.. A-And I.. I'm sorry!"  
  
I started to cry. I cried so hard.. I can't face him.. I felt so ashamed..  
  
I felt his warm hand touch my shoulder. Mmm.. It felt so nice.  
  
"Why are you telling me that you are sorry?" He finally said.  
  
What the?! I thought he will be so.. angry. I thought he will hate me.. Why Gaara? Why are you so kind and understanding to a girl like me?  
  
"B-Because.. I.. I.." I tried to answer but no more words came out.  
  
He looked at the red-orange mixed with lavender colored sky. He sighed.  
  
"I didn't love you because of your virginity. I love you because you are.. you. I love you for who you are, what you are and that will never change. You're my you, my Sakura.." He looked at me. "I love you just the way you are, Sakura.."  
  
I was touched by his answer. Well, maybe that incident with Itachi was destined to happen. Problems do strengthen a relationship, right? That problem will also help me to determine who really loves and cares for me. Maybe it wasn't so bad after all.. Err.. Maybe..  
  
But wait.. Something was not quite right about what Gaara had said..  
  
"Hey Gaara.." I said with a small grin. "You said you love me just the way I am." I emphasized the word 'love'.  
  
"Yes, I did.."  
  
"Say it again.." I said in my sweetest voice.  
  
"You heard me already.. It's enough." He answered in his normal tone.  
  
I breathed deeply. I guess its time to tell him the truth..  
  
"I love you.." We said in unison.  
  
I blushed.  
  
-=-=-=-=-  
  
I agree with Sakura that problems do strengthen a relationship..Thanks a lot for those who reviewed! You mean a lot to me.. Review please!


	12. Forever

_I'll be loving you forever. Deep inside my heart you leave me never. Even if you took my heart, and tore it apart I will love you still.. Forever..  
  
_**Chapter 12:** Forever  
  
It's been two months after that 'I love you day' and yes, Gaara and I are officially together. I've been so happy with him. We go to the playground every week end, I bake him some cookies.. Oh, we had a lot fun together!  
  
About that incident with Itachi.. I almost forgot about that! Maybe because I've been so happy with Gaara that I forgot about him. I've never seen him for quite a while. I wished that he'll just die and rot in hell. That bastard!  
  
I glanced at my calendar as I stood in front of the mirror while brushing my hair. Ah.. Another fine morning! One more week and it will be Valentines day but still, I don't have the perfect gift for my Gaara. I sighed.  
  
It was strangely dark outside. I shrugged. I picked my bag from the bed and headed straight to school.  
  
-----  
  
I was quite surprised when I saw that few people were in the school by that time. Usually around seven in the morning, a lot of students are already here, especially in our classroom. They were asking for Sasuke's autograph, shirt, handkerchief, his heart..  
  
It was still quite dark. What time was it, anyway? I looked at the big clock and it read 5:56. That early?! But I left my apartment at around 6:45! Maybe my clock was broken or has ran out of batteries. No wonder it's dark..  
  
I sighed. I went to my classroom, first year section one. I was about to open the door when I heard some people having their conversation. There were, I think, only two of them-- two boys.  
  
I was quite curious so I gently opened the door. I peeked inside and saw Sasuke and Gaara. It's so early, why are they there now? I was about to bust in but then I saw so much seriousness in their face. I decided to listen to their talk.  
  
"You're happy with her?" Sasuke asked him.  
  
Were they talking about me?  
  
"What do you think?"  
  
Silence.  
  
"You know very much that I love her from the start." Sasuke said. "I'm not insulting you but what's with the sudden change?"  
  
"Everyone has the capacity to change, Sasuke. If you weren't so stupid and numb, she might have been yours."  
  
Sasuke sighed.  
  
"I know. But I thought she's just another social climber, another girl that once she have what she wants from you, she'll just dump you." He said.  
  
"But she's different. She changed my damn life. Sasuke, you're a lucky person with lots of money, a big house, fame, girls.. But you lack something.." Gaara paused. "You lack that feeling called love. I don't know what happened to you before that made you so numb."  
  
"I opened my heart but you took her away." Sasuke answered calmly although I knew that he was angry and.. hurt inside.  
  
Again, silence prevailed between the two of them.  
  
"How much do you love her?" Gaara finally spoke.  
  
Sasuke's jet black orbs met Gaara 's jade pools. He looked straight at Gaara's eyes for quite a long while.  
  
Sasuke's lips curved into a small smile.  
  
"You can't measure something that cannot be measured." That was Sasuke's reply.  
  
Such a deep answer. It took me quite a while to understand that..  
  
You can't measure something that cannot be measured..  
  
"I cannot measure how much I love Sakura.." My eyes widened on what I heard. That was the last thing I heard from Sasuke. Someone covered my mouth and pulled me outside the school building.  
  
-----  
  
"Itachi, what the fuck are you doing here?!" I snarled at the older Uchiha. He dragged me to the school field.  
  
He smirked at me. Oh, that fucking smirk. I hate that. I hate him.  
  
"How are you, my Sakura?" He asked.  
  
"Stop calling me like that! And I don't ever want to see your face again!" I retorted.  
  
He went closer to me. His slender fingers traced my jawline.  
  
"But I want to see yours.. I want to lock you in my room and hear your beautiful screams and moans.." He slowly licked his lips.  
  
There he was again with his perverted thoughts. I was about to slap him in his cheek but he caught my arm and held it tightly as if he wanted to crush my bones. That bastard!  
  
"Itachi.. You fucking bastard!" I angrily said to him. With great force, I pulled my arm from his tight grasp.  
  
There was his smirk again. His right hand reached for my belly but before it could make contact with my clothes, I slapped it really hard.  
  
His left hand nursed his now burning right hand. Hah! Serves him right!  
  
"That's okay, my Sakura.. Ready to be Mrs. Uchiha?" He said with that smirk. "I can make you happy. Give you all you want. You'll have lots of money, jewelries, clothes--"  
  
"As if we could get married right now.. You're nineteen but I'm only fourteen and I'm underage, you stupid ass!" I smartly answered. "And besides you can never give me what I need. I need love and you lack that. No wonder people hates you.. No wonder your own brother hates you.. No wonder no one cares for you!"  
  
He frowned.  
  
"I like it when they hate me and I don't care about them. I like it when Sasuke hates me. Actually, I provoked him into being a numb, heartless person. I took everything that he likes." He went closer to me. "That's why I want you. And that silly little brother of mine is so weak, he doesn't deserve to be happy.. Or even to live." He continued, almost like a whisper.  
  
He placed a kiss on my lips. I felt something on my hand. A box?  
  
"It will help you.." He said before walking away.  
  
When he was out of my sight, I looked at the box that he placed in my hand. My eyes widened.  
  
Pregnancy test kit.. No, just can't be possible!  
  
-----  
  
I woke up the next morning with the sound of my alarm clock. I don't know but I felt strangely tired.. I slept early last night but I was still sleepy. I wasn't like that before.  
  
My hand searched for the alarm clock. I can't find it anywhere. The noise started to irritate me. Where's that damn alarm clock?! Finally, I managed to find the clock and turned the alarm off. It was too late when I knew that I was on the end side of my bed-- and I fell on the floor.  
  
I nursed my back with my hand. I suddenly felt dizzy and like I'm gonna be sick. I immediately stood up and headed straight to the bathroom.  
  
-----  
  
I went back to my room. I passed my study table where I laid the pregnancy test kit. I looked at it for quite a while. I didn't dare use it. What for? It will just be a waste of time. It will turn out to be negative. Or was that what I believed the result would be?  
  
I will lose nothing if I try it, right?  
  
Oh, the wonders of Science and technology.. I wouldn't need to go to a specialist to have a check-up. I have that test kit which is a lot cheaper but accurate.  
  
I read the instruction. So simple.. Just some of my urine and I'll know the result in no time. Orochimaru-sensei once told us about that device. It is based on the detection of human chorionic gonadotropin, a hormone produced in large quantities by the placenta early in pregnancy and excreted in the pregnant woman's urine. Am I just great or what?  
  
My hands were slightly shaking as I held the device. I went back to the bathroom and used the pregnancy test..  
  
-----  
  
Three more days and it's Valentines day. By that time, I was ready. I already have the perfect give for Gaara. I was quite surprised on what I found out. That drove me to my slight depression..  
  
I continued experiencing fatigue. I felt so useless.. It's as if I could do nothing because I was too tired and sleepy.  
  
Gaara and I met in the playground at around six in the evening. He brought something quite big wrapped in an inexpensive light blue paper. It was rectangular in shape.. What could it be?  
  
I sat on the same swing beside him. He seemed different that day.. There was so much seriousness in his face. I decided to be silent.  
  
"It's strange, it didn't rain today.." He said.  
  
"Yeah.." I replied. "But it's quite cold, right?"  
  
He nodded slightly then again, there was silence.  
  
"Is there something bothering you, Sakura?" He asked me, breaking the silence. "You look so tired.."  
  
I shook my head. I heard him sigh.  
  
"Are you by any chance--"  
  
"Yes, I am.. " I cut him. I kept a tight grip on my skirt. "I.. I'm.. I'm.. pregnant.." Then I started to cry.  
  
He placed his hand on mine. It felt so warm.  
  
"You will be fine." He whispered. "I promise you.." He didn't seem too worried.  
  
I looked straight at his jade orbs.  
  
"W-What do you mean?" I asked him. I was quite surprised by what he had said.  
  
He stood up and walked a little then stopped, his back facing me.  
  
"Sakura, I will be gone for quite a while. I don't know when I'll be coming back. I.." He paused. "I have to do something important in a far place. I.. will be leaving tomorrow."  
  
I lowered my head. I tried to stop the tears from falling down my cheeks but I failed. I slowly raised my head and looked at him.  
  
"Are you not happy with me?" I asked him, almost like a whisper.  
  
"You know very well that I am happy with you.." He answered. "That's why I want to.. give your freedom back." He faced me. "Because I will be gone for quite a while.."  
  
I stood up and approached him. I cupped his cheeks with my cold hands.  
  
"Gaara, I don't want my freedom.. I want to be with you always.. Y-You mean a lot to me.." I said to him. "Why are y-you.. doing this to me?"  
  
He held my hands and placed it on his chest.  
  
"You will always be in my heart. You're my you.. You're my Sakura and you'll always be." He whispered. "But you must understand that I'll have to do certain things on my own.."  
  
I was speechless for quite a while.  
  
"Is this all because of Sasuke?" I asked him.  
  
He looked quite surprised on what I had asked him. Sasuke.. He must have been the reason. He let go of my hands and just looked at me.  
  
"No.. I just have to--"  
  
"Damn it! Don't lie to me!" I shouted at him.  
  
"I already told you my reason. Sasuke is not involved in here.." His voice was really cold that it almost sent shivers to my spine.  
  
More tears sprang from my eyes. I knew Gaara. He's firm on his decisions.. Even I can't do anything about it even if it hurts so much.. I knew that I must let him go.  
  
"That's for you.." He said, refering to that rectangular thing.  
  
I slowly walked towards him. I brought out a small, white box from my pocket. I placed it on his hand.  
  
"Th-That is.. for you.." I whispered. "Happy Valentines day." I flashed him a small smile even if inside I was dying in pain.  
  
He stared at it for a moment. He then looked at me.  
  
"Thank you.." He paused. "I love you." He then slowly walked away.  
  
"Gaara!" I called him and he stopped. "I don't know if I can really search for you.. But.. Gaara.. I'll.. I'll wait for you.. forever!" I shouted so that he could hear me. "Because.. I love you! You're my you.. You're my Gaara and you'll always be.."  
  
He stood still for a while then left.  
  
My legs felt weak that I collapsed on the ground.  
  
"I.. Will.. Wait for you.. Forever.." I whispered. I looked at what it seemed his valentine gift for me. I took it and held it in my arms. I cried and cried.. It hurts a lot. It hurts damn lot..  
  
And it was at that time that it rained. It poured instantly that in some minutes, I was soaked. It didn't matter to me.. I don't care..  
  
I looked at the swings and I suddenly remembered the happy days that we had. They say that you will never know how much that person means to you unless he's gone. Maybe they're right.. I never had the chance to tell him how much he means to Haruno Sakura.  
  
Gaara.. If you only knew how much you mean to me. You mean the whole damn world to me.. You mean everything to me.  
  
That's why no matter what happens, no matter how hard it will be, no matter how long it will take.. I will wait for you.  
  
Because I love you..  
  
Forever..  
  
-=-=-=-=-  
  
O.O;; Okay, Gaara is gone and now Sasuke has a chance but not to worry GaaSaku fans.. (Just to be fair to the others..)Just review okay.. Thanks!


	13. Sasuke's Journal

**Chapter 13:** Sasuke's Journal  
  
Seconds turned into minutes. Minutes turned into hours. Hours turned into days. Days turned into weeks.  
  
It's been four weeks since Gaara, my Gaara, had left. I don't know but it felt so long.. It's not that I'm complaining or something but.. I felt so lonely.. So depressed.. So alone.. Gaara, when will you ever come back? I miss you so much..  
  
My Gaara..  
  
I never attended school since then. I already presented a leave of absence to Kakashi-sensei. Absence.. I might not be able to return to my school any longer. That's because of Itachi. That fucking Uchiha Itachi.  
  
My parents still doesn't know about my situation. I'm afraid to tell them.. I knew they will hate me. They can never forgive me.. They called me about a week ago. They asked me about my studies, if I'm fine or something.. Of course I said yes. I wouldn't want to make them worry, would I?  
  
I'm so glad they phoned me but Gaara.. I never received any calls or letters from him. How's he doing? Is he alright? Does he miss me? I wondered.  
  
Like before, I continued experiencing fatigue. I can't get up from my bed because I felt so tired and sleepy. That was before but not this day. It's so strange..  
  
I was lying on my bed, staring at the white cealing that time. I felt totally useless. I wished I would just die. I hate life now. I hate life because my Gaara isn't with me. Gaara, my life.  
  
I looked at Gaara's valetine gift for me. It was still wrapped with the light blue paper. I decided to open it when he comes back. I want to open it with him. Gaara, my love.  
  
Has he opened my gift by now? It's been almost a month since I last gave it to him. Since I last saw him. I thought it will be nice if he opened it in front of me.. I'll see his handsome face. What could have been his expression? I softly grinned.  
  
For the past few days, I've only been thinking about Gaara. I smiled to myself as I remembered my gift for him-- Two silver rings with our names engraved inside each. I was hoping that he'll put one in my finger as a sign of his love and vice versa.. Like we were a married couple. I liked that idea. I wanted to spend my life with him..  
  
_Only_ with him..  
  
I put a small piece of paper-- a letter, inside the box. I bitterly smiled as I remembered its content..  
  
_My Gaara,  
  
I don't know how to start this letter. Uhm.. Thank you for always being with me. I am so lucky that I found someone like you.. I was too blind before. Let's just forget about the past. What matters to me is that I'm with you today and hopefully forever. Gaara, thank you for loving me. You're the reason I believe in love. You are my life, my love.. Without you by my side, I think I'd die. That's how important you are to me. You're my everything. You're my you.. You're my Gaara and you'll always be. I'll treasure all the days of my life with you. I love you forever..  
  
Happy Valentines day, my Gaara!  
  
From, _

_You're 'you'..  
  
_Tears blinded my vision. Oh, how I miss him.. It's so hard to live without him.  
  
My train of thougts was distracted by the sound of the doorbell. Who would visit me by this time? It's already.. Exactly twelve midnight?! Strange I don't feel so sleepy yet. I reluctantly stood up, wiped the tears with the back of my palm and went down to see who my midnight visitor might be.  
  
I opened the door and was surprised to see--  
  
"Sasuke.." I said softly.  
  
He was not looking at me. His eyes were focused on the flowers outside my apartment. That was rather unusual..  
  
"What are you doing here?" I asked him.  
  
"I.. Just want to see you.. I mean to see if you're fine.." He answered.  
  
I felt quite pissed that time. I just want to lie on my bed all day.  
  
"Well, I'm still alive so I guess I'm fine. Goodbye now.." I said.  
  
He looked at me before slightly nodding, turned around and walked away.  
  
"S-Sasuke, wait!" I suddenly said. I just felt like I want to talk to someone..  
  
He turned back at me but said nothing. It's as if he's waiting for me to say something.  
  
"Uhm.. Come in. Let's have a cup of hot chocolate or ice cold orange juice.." I said with a small grin.  
  
He nodded then followed me inside.  
  
-----  
  
I prepared a cup of hot chocolate for the both of us. Argh! That orange juice reminded me of a certain someone.. And my stupidity. I sat across him. We were silent for a while.  
  
"You still have classes tomorrow. Why are you still awake?" I asked, breaking the deafening silence.  
  
"I already stated my reason." He replied. "How about you? Why are you still awake? I thought you get easily tired."  
  
I looked at the steamy chocolate in front of me. I could see my reflection in it. My sad reflection..  
  
"I know. It's strange that I still don't feel sleepy or tired yet.." I said then sighed.  
  
"Do you feel dizzy or something?"  
  
"N-No.. It's really strange. Before, I get sick every morning but not this day. I wonder why.." I replied.  
  
I saw him stand up.  
  
"Hmm.. Just as I thought." He said.  
  
I raised my head and focused my full attention to him. He was slightly smiling.  
  
"W-What do you mean?" I asked him. What he said kind of scared me a little. Am I sick and going to die soon? I felt afraid.. I hate my life but I'm afraid to die.  
  
"You told me that Itachi gave you a glass of orange juice the night he.. touched you, right?" He asked me.  
  
"Yes. Why are you asking me about that damn night?"  
  
"Itachi does not know how to make good-tasting juice, coffee or whatever drinks and food. He is not good when it comes to those kinds of things.." Sasuke said.  
  
"Really? Besides I was so thirsty that time. I drank it because it tasted so good. Now why are you telling me that he doesn't know how to make good- tasting drinks?" I asked. I can't believe what he had said because the juice really tasted delicious.  
  
"That's the trick. The trick of that drug." He answered. Now I'm getting more confused.  
  
"Drug? The sleeping powder?" I asked.  
  
"Itachi may have mixed some sleeping powder in your juice. Actually, that was only a glass of water mixed with some orange juice powder to add color. What made it taste nice was the drug he put in there." Sasuke replied but I was still confused.  
  
"Huh? Explain it to me further, Sasuke."  
  
He sat back across me.  
  
"I'm sure he included that drug in your juice. That drug, not known to many, was used by the Uchiha male members to 'seduce' anyone they desire. It is more effective when combined with sleeping powder because you can do anything you want to that person after she consumes the drink. Too much consumption of that drug will lead to fatigue and nausea-- like the signs of pregnancy. It takes effect for about three to six months. He added a lot so you experienced those symptoms but you stopped experiencing it today because now is the third month after that incident.. After you drank that juice." He explained.  
  
The signs of pregnancy.. But why did it turn out to be positive when I used the pregnancy test kit that Itachi gave me when the truth is that I'm not really pregnant? I asked Sasuke about that.  
  
"Male members of the Uchiha clan also used a thick, cream colored liquid after a woman had taken the drug. That liquid was used to determine if a woman is pregnant or not. If the urine, mixed with the drug that he made her take, reacts with the liquid, it turns red, meaning that she is positive. The woman will think that she is pregnant and because of that, her parents will force her to marry the man. Itachi added that liquid to the pregnancy test that he gave you and it turned positive because you drank the juice with the drug mixed in it." Sasuke explained again.  
  
I fell silent to think.  
  
"You knew about that for a long time. Why didn't you tell me earlier?" I questioned him.  
  
"I need to wait for at least three months to see the results." He answered.  
  
"But.. w-why did he do that to me?" I asked, almost like a whisper.  
  
Sasuke stood up again and turned away from me. He lowered his head before saying:  
  
"That I don't know.."  
  
There was something strange about his gesture. It's as if he's hiding something to me. What might it be?  
  
-----  
  
I went back to school three days after Sasuke told me about that drug and liquid thingy. I felt so happy because I was not really pregant. Still, my heart was filled with grief because of Gaara. Still no letters and calls from him.. I'm worried about him.  
  
And I miss him damn lot..  
  
"Sakura!" Naruto exclaimed as I stepped inside my classroom. He ran to me and hugged me. I didn't push him away. Well, I kind of missed him-- his clumsiness, loud voice..  
  
"Hi Naruto!" I happily greeted him.  
  
"I'm so happy that you're back!" His voice was still as loud as before.  
  
"Yeah, yeah so please keep your voice down, Naruto." I told him.  
  
He finally let go of me when Kakashi-sensei entered the room. Everyone sat back in their seats and fell quiet.  
  
"You're here now, Haruno Sakura." said Kakashi-sensei. "I think I need some explanation."  
  
I went to him and gave him my reason for coming back so early. Of course I didn't tell him the truth. I told him that my parents want me to go back to school immediately and that they will bring me back to our house if I don't. I wouldn't want that to happen, I told him. He seemed convinced but I think deep inside he knew that I was lying.  
  
I sat back to my chair. I looked around, in search of Sasuke to thank him for the information he gave me. He wasn't present. I presummed that he was really absent because it was rather unusual for him not to come in school early.  
  
"Where's Sasuke?" I asked Hinata who sat in front of me.  
  
"H-He's been a-absent.. s-since yesterday." She answered.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I.. I don't k-know. I'm sorry."  
  
I wanted to ask him a lot of questions especially, why did Itachi do that to me? Why me? I had that strong feeling that he knew the answer but just wouldn't tell me. I wonder why..  
  
I sighed deeply. Maybe Sasuke was absent because of another movie he was shooting. He's got a very busy schedule yet he still has the time to go to school.  
  
I rested my chin on my palm and listened to Kakashi-sensei as he discussed his new lesson.  
  
-----  
  
It was finally dismissal time. Ino and I had decided to go to our favorite fast food chain together. Her treat, of course! Well, I kind of missed my bestfriend.  
  
I opened my locker to put my stuffs inside but then I saw something that was not mine. I didn't remember putting that thing inside my locker. I picked it to have a closer look. It was a small brown envelope. I touched it and it felt like there was something hard inside-- like a book or something. I was about to lift its lid up when--  
  
"Hurry up, Sakura! We don't have all day!" I heard Ino say.  
  
I nodded in reply then quickly placed the envelope inside my bag. I'll deal with it later..  
  
-----  
  
Hmm.. I never thought that it'll be so nice to be back at school! Ino told me that she missed me a lot. We had a nice time in the restaurant.  
  
I walked back to my apartment alone. It was almost six in the evening. The wind felt cold. I suddenly remembered the times when Gaara would lend me his jacket or would just hug me. That warm hug.. I really want to feel it again. I want to go back to the time when he was mine. I only want to be with him. I want to raise a family with him. I want to grow old with him..  
  
But would that ever happen? Would it be just a part of my unfulfilled dreams? Gaara gave my freedom back. I told him that I don't want it back. I wanted to ask him, 'Gaara, is my love for you not yet enough? Tell me..'.  
  
Before, I was so crazy about Sasuke. I also wanted to ask him the same question. Then I found that love in Gaara. But sadly, he left me.. Could it be that he wasn't really meant for me? Should I open my heart again and accept the challenges of love?  
  
Tears blinded my vision upon seeing his house. I stood in front of its small gate. I remembered the day when I woke up in his room. I started to walk again. I don't want to remember those happy memories with him. I don't want to remember them for it only makes me sad..  
  
I caught a glimpse of a cherry blossom tree. Its flowers were unquestionably beautiful. Something caught my attention. Something or rather someone I saw distracted me..  
  
"Gaara?" I whispered.  
  
Tears rolled down my cheeks. With a blink of an eye, he was gone. I shook my head. I was probably hallucinating. I continued walking back to my apartment.  
  
-----  
  
I just finished taking a bath. It was now time for me to sleep. I checked my bag because I might have forgotten to do something. Then I saw that brown envelope again.  
  
I sat on my bed with that envelope. I looked at it for some seconds then I opened it. Inside was a navy blue hard bound book. I looked inside it and realized that it wasn't a book but a notebook.. A diary. A note fell while I was scanning it. I read it.  
  
_You want to know the reason why he left you? The answer is in your hands.  
_  
Was the sender talking about Gaara? Was he telling me to read the journal? I scanned it then realized that I have seen that hand writing. It was Sasuke's hand writing.  
  
Sasuke's journal..  
  
-=-=-=-=-  
  
I hate this chapter. I have a lot of problems right now about school. Please review. Thanks.  
  
-eMpErAtRiS-


	14. Princess

**Chapter 14:** Princess  
  
I touched the journal's hard cover. Should I open it? It's a journal.. It contains Sasuke's thoughts, ideas and feelings. Although I am so much eager to know deeper things about him, I knew I shouldn't be touching his private property.. No, not that way.  
  
My eyes fell on the note that lie beside me. I read it again.  
  
_You want to know the reason why he left you? The answer is in your hands.  
_  
Who could have sent me that diary? What was his intention? Did he do that to help me or to break Sasuke? Why?  
  
I was eager to know the reason why Gaara left me. I set my mind that I'm going to read the journal because of that single reason.  
  
I was about to open it when the phone rang. I sighed before standing up and answering the phone.  
  
"Hey Sakura!"  
  
It was Ino.  
  
"Hi! What made you call me by this time of the night?" I asked.  
  
"Oh, it's just that I forgot to tell you that we will be having an exam in Science tomorrow regarding the whole chapter.. Uhm.. Chapter 10." She answered.  
  
"What? But that's one of a hell long chapter and it's almost past my bed time!"  
  
"Quit whinning now. If I were you, I'm going to start studying now so I'll get finished soon." She said followed by a sigh.  
  
"You're right, Ino." I sadly answered. I was tired that night. "So, see you tomorrow. Good night now.."  
  
"Good night!" She then hung the phone.  
  
I checked my backpack for my Science book. Oh, damn Orochimaru-sensei! I took another glance at Sasuke's diary before heading to my study table.  
  
-----  
  
Whether I liked it or not, I woke up as early as before. I went to school as early as before-- when my clock ran out of battery and when I heard Gaara and Sasuke's conversation..  
  
I was about to turn the knob of our classroom door open when I heard something. Something nice.. Something sweet yet so painful. Something quite familiar..  
  
The sound of a flute..  
  
It came inside the room. I carefully opened the door. Sasuke was alone inside, playing the flute. He played it really good. But then the tone was rather sad..  
  
He stopped playing the flute. I realized that he was staring at me.  
  
"Oh.. I.. I'm sorry if I disturbed you.." I apologized to him.  
  
"You came so early." He said. "Come here."  
  
I obeyed and sat across him.  
  
"I didn't know you could play a flute." I said with a small smile while looking at the long, silver musical instrument.  
  
"Itachi taught me when I was still a young boy."  
  
"The piece you've played.. That was beautiful but sad. Can you.. Play it again?" I said. My smile slowly vanished.  
  
"Why would you want me to play that piece again if it sounds sad?" He asked. "If.. It will make you feel sad and think more about Gaara?"  
  
I was silent for some seconds.  
  
"I.. Just want to here it.." I finally answered.  
  
Sasuke looked at me. He nodded slightly before playing again.  
  
_The walls of my castle speak _

_They tell me that you're not hear _

_The heart of my kingdom weeps _

_Knowing you're nowhere near..  
_  
Tears sprang from my eyes as he played that sad song. I remembered Gaara. It made me cry a lot. Sasuke stopped playing his flute.  
  
"Sakura?" He said.  
  
I looked at his raven orbs.  
  
"I miss him so much, Sasuke." I said between sobs. "It hurts a lot when the one you love left you.. It hurts damn lot. I don't know the real reason why he left me but.. It just hurts! Sasuke, if the time comes that a girl will truly love you, don't let her slip away. You will never know how much she means to you until she's gone. Don't let that happen. For.. It hurts to be alone."  
  
He was so silent. I sobbed more.  
  
"I know." He answered. "I let her slip away. She left me.. But.. I just want her to be happy."  
  
"You know, Gaara also told that to me." I said with a very small smile upon remembering that day. "But he made me sad.. Because he left me.. And every night, I cry myself to sleep. I kept on telling myself 'Sakura, the love you've shown him was not enough that's why he left you. No one will ever love you because you are so helpless and weak!' Sasuke, don't you think I've shown him enough?"  
  
I lowered my head as I continued to sob. Suddenly, I felt two arms encircle my waist. Sasuke's chin rested on my head.  
  
"I think that was enough. Gaara is so lucky that he found someone like you. Too bad.." He paused. "I let you go.. That was the biggest mistake I've ever done in my life. But I want you to be happy.." He paused again. He spoke, this time like a whisper. "If only.. I could turn back time and correct my mistake.. And be with you.. For the rest of my life.."  
  
My eyes widened upon hearing those words. How I longed to hear those from him. But I got tired of waiting for him. And now he's in front of me, his arms around me.. How I longed to feel that..  
  
But things changed when Gaara came in my life..  
  
I tried to compose myself and was, fortunately, successful.  
  
"Sasuke, does it hurt?" I asked.  
  
He pulled slightly away from me. His raven eyes met my emerald ones.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"It hurts right? It hurts when the one you love left you.. That's exactly how I felt when Gaara left me.. Do you get me, Sasuke?" I said, raising my voice.  
  
".."  
  
"That's how I felt when you took my Gaara away.. You sent him away! It's your fault.. It's your fucking fault that he left me!" I spatted at him. I was angry.  
  
He looked at me, his eyes full of surprise and fear. He mustn't deny the fact. The fact that he was the reason why Gaara left me. Now that I know the truth..  
  
He turned his back to me. I saw his hands curled into a tight ball. He lowered his head slightly.  
  
"Maybe I am the reason why he left you. But.. I don't do things for nothing. Maybe he left you because he has his own reason. Maybe he needs time. Maybe.. It's time for me to.. Love you again."  
  
I grabbed his arm and turned him around so that he was facing me. Anger consumed my mind and my heart.  
  
"Don't you lie to me! You planned the whole thing from the start! You planned that.. That night when that Itachi touched me! I was surprised you didn't tell him to get me pregant maybe because you want to do it yourself, right?!" From being loud and fiery, my voice turned soft. "Because of that.. He left me.. Sasuke, how can you be so selfish?"  
  
I slowly let go of his arm. There was a long pause.  
  
"Yes.. I am selfish, Sakura. I am selfish because I.. I want your love. I am jealous of Gaara because even if he's not here, you still continue to love him." His voice was surprisingly soft.. Full of emotions. I've never heard him speak like that. "Remember the day you first 'talked' with Gaara so sincerely in that playground? You were sad because of me.. I've thought about it a lot of times-- that I'm going to swallow my pride and apologize to you. Seeing that it will rain soon, I brought two umbrellas with me and looked for you. I was happy when I saw you in that playground.. But with Gaara. Your face was full of sincerity and sadness so I decided to listen to your talk about that thing called love. Then soon he hugged you.. I felt so disappointed that I left with a heavy heart."  
  
So that was what happened.. He should have shown up that time. He should have--  
  
"I learned from that conversation. Love makes people weak.. That's why I killed my heart and became a numb person. But then you came in my life and brought it back to life.. I am afraid, Sakura. I am afraid to be weak.. I hate to be weak. I am afraid of you because you make me so damn weak.." He whispered.  
  
I was speechless for a long time.  
  
"Sasuke, I wish you've said that to me a long, long time ago.." I managed to say. "But things are different now. No matter what happens, I will still wait for the one I love.. Even if it takes forever. I.. I don't.. w-want you.. anymore."  
  
"Sakura, when will you ever stop waiting for nothing?" He asked, his voice raised a bit. "When will you ever stop waiting for Gaara?!" This time his voice was loud. He grabbed my arms and held it tightly. "Don't you understand me? You've got to stop living in the past! Open your heart again and start a new life.. With another person who will love you forever.. Sakura, Gaara is your past and I am your present, why can't you see that?" He shook my body.  
  
I was trembling a lot. Tears sprang from my eyes because of so much fear. I've never seen him so enraged.  
  
"..I.. I.." I blurted out. "I-It hurts, Sasuke! L-Let me go!" I tried pulling myself away from him but was unsuccessful. His grasp grew tighter. He was hurting me a lot! I whimpered.  
  
"No. No I won't until you tell me that you will--" He said almost possessively but then the door suddenly opened, surprising the both of us.  
  
It was Naruto.. An enraged Naruto.  
  
"Na-Naruto.." I whispered.  
  
He ran to us. With a great force, he pulled Sasuke away from me followed by a hard punch on his cheek. Blood spurted from Sasuke's mouth. He nursed his swollen cheek.  
  
"What the-- What is wrong with you, dunce?!" Sasuke angrily asked.  
  
"Not me. What the fuck is wrong with you, dumbass, good-for-nothing Sasuke?! What are you doing with my Sakura?!" Naruto retorted. He was so angry. His sweet and gentle cerulean eyes turned into an angry and fiery ones.  
  
Sasuke wiped the blood on the side of his lips.  
  
"It's none of your business. Not even you would understand me." Sasuke said. He gave me an angry yet sad look before he went away from our classroom.  
  
"Come back here, you piece of shit! Come back and face me! Be a man!" Naruto said angrily.  
  
"No,Naruto. Let him be.." I sofly said. I don't want to cause more trouble.  
  
Naruto gave Sasuke his last glare before turning to me and said:  
  
"A-Are you alright, Sakura?" He softly asked. His eyes were now back to its normal, gentle and sweet look.  
  
I nodded slightly even though deep inside I was really worried about Sasuke. Not to mention Gaara. I've been carrying a lot of sadness and problems in my heart that I would explode anytime.  
  
-----  
  
I went back to my apartment. I was in my room after I took a bath. While wiping my hair with my pink towel, I spotted Sasuke's journal. Anger slowly filled me.  
  
I've already read it. Chapter 10 of our Science book was long but easy so I finished early. After that, I read the journal.  
  
I got it and sat on my bed. I opened it and again, I read its contents.  
  
The first two pages were blank. There was something written in the third page. If I remember correctly, the date was when we had our practice for our play in his mansion.  
  
_I.. I think I found her. But I'm still confused.  
_  
The next page..  
  
_She asked me if I like her. I was filled with fear so I answered 'No'. Did I hurt her? I hope she didn't take that so seriously. I just don't know what to say for I'm still confused about my feelings for her.  
  
_The next three pages were blank. The next paper..  
  
I_ finally realized my mistake. I do love her. I'm not confused any longer. I decided to apologize to her but then.. He came along and hugged her.  
  
Love. I've never felt that for a long time. How does it feel? Does it feel happy? Does it.. Hurt?  
  
I don't know..  
_  
The next entry was dated September 20, the day we went camping.  
  
_It does hurt.. Love does hurt. That's why I don't want to feel that emotion. It is more on sadness than happiness. And now that she is with him, what would I do?  
  
I think I'd die..  
  
_Another blank page. The next one..  
  
_Jealousy is slowly killing me. Day by day I'm getting more jealous. It hurts me to see them together. It hurts me to see them happy while I'm dying. Why should it hurt so much? I want.. No.. I need her so badly up to the point that I would do everything to win her back.  
  
Everything..  
_  
The next five pages were blank. The sixth page.. That really stung my heart.  
  
_I hate to seek help from him but I have to.. Because of her. I sought Itachi's help. I made her believe that she is pregant. What would be the outcome?  
  
_Tears slowly rolled down my cheeks, not because of sadness but because of anger. I read the next entry. It was a song, I thought. The one he played in the classroom with his flute.  
  
_The walls of my castle speak _

_They tell me that you're not here _

_The heart of my kingdom weeps _

_Knowing you're nowhere near  
  
Give me one more chance _

_To be with you_

_ To prove my love is forever true _

_But you're miles away _

_So far away _

_Hoping that you would stay..  
  
My princess has left me _

_I am so empty, I'm all alone _

_My princess has left me _

_I have nobody to call my own  
  
Sitting in my own room _

_Humming a lonely tune _

_Staring up at the moon _

_Wondering if you'd be home soon  
  
Have I done you wrong _

_That you went away? _

_Would do anything just to make you stay _

_Thinking of you through day and night _

_Wanting to make things right..  
  
My princess has left me _

_I am so empty, I'm all alone _

_My princess has left me _

_I have nobody to call my own  
_  
More tears sprang from my eyes. Pity slowly inhabited my heavy heart. However, anger crept back when I read the last entry..  
  
_He left her because he cannot support her. Did he gave way for me? He should. He knows she's mine from the start.  
  
Am I bad? I'm only doing this because I love her. Is that being selfish? Is that what love would make me do? It would make me do everything for her.  
  
Now that he's gone, I can have her again. I can have my Sakura back.. She's mine. My Princess..  
_  
-=-=-=-=-  
  
Ok. Uhm.. That song is usually played with a guitar and BTW, I don't own it. It just reminds me of a certain someone who calls me his Princess. To 'him', thanks for liking me the way I am. Thanks for being kind despite of my unkindness towards you.  
  
If you want, also read my other fic 'Forbidden Love' but it is a SasuSaku fic. I hope you'll like it!  
  
Anyway, thanks for reading and please review!


	15. Taking Risks

**Chapter 15:** Taking Risks  
  
How should I carry on with my life? I knew I couldn't just cry and cry all time. But what could I do? What could a helpless girl like me do? I've thought of talking to a friend, like Ino, but I knew she wouldn't understand me. No one would..  
  
I forced myself not to cry but I just can't help it. I shed more tears as I looked at Sasuke's journal and remembered its contents. I knew Sasuke was secretive but I never thought that Uchiha Sasuke was also a sad, sweet but possessive person. I didn't know if I should pity him or be angry. I was confused.  
  
I cannot bring myself to sleep. How will I be able to do that if my mind was filled with sorrowful thoughts? I might not even wake up the next morning because of too much problems and I will just be stucked in the land of nightmares. That would be nice..  
  
I turned in the other side, just to avoid seeing the journal. My eyes fell on Gaara's gift. Yup, I haven't opened it yet. It's strange but I didn't have the feeling of excitement when I received that gift, not like some other children who likes to open their presents the moment they lay their hands on it.  
  
I sighed. I wanted to sleep but I can't. I remembered the song my mommy used to sing for me when I was a little girl whenever I can't get myself to sleep.  
  
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine . You make me happy when skies turn gray. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away.." I softly sang my mommy's lullaby. Before, it reminded me so much of my mom but now, it reminded me of Gaara.  
  
It's funny that it always rain whenever we see each other in that park. I missed those days with him. Seeing that unforgettable place alone brings me into tears. There are even times that I just would like to sit in that same swing all afternoon and reminisce my memories of him-- from the day I first talked with him until the day he left me. I wanted to cry more.  
  
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.." I continued to sing. My mommy told me that whenever I feel scared or alone, I'll just sing that song and everything will be fine. That's the reason why I was singing it. I hope that when I wake up the next morning, everything will be alright.  
  
"You make me happy when skies turn gray.."  
  
-----  
  
I went to school next morning. I wasn't surprised that Sasuke was absent. It was probably because of the shooting for his next commercial.  
  
I sat on my chair, staring at the cloudy sky outside. The sky itself looked so sad that it would shed its tears soon. I heavily sighed.  
  
-----  
  
Ino didn't attend school that day. I called her but her mommy told me that Ino was sick. I was alone again.  
  
I sat on s bench in our school's waiting area. I watched as thousands of raindrop violently fell from the sky. I didn't bring an umbrella so I waited for the rain to stop. I've been sitting in there for nearly an hour but still the heavens won't cease crying. I lowered my head.  
  
"Hey, Sakura!" I heard a voice from a far.  
  
I raised my head and saw the least person I expected to be there. Naruto.. He was using a blue umbrella and his other hand held a red colored one. He ran towards my direction. He caught his breath upon reaching me.  
  
"H-Hi Naruto.. I thought you went to your house early." I told him.  
  
"I did. That was to get an umbrella for you, Sakura." He answered with his usual smile. "I wouldn't want you to get sick, would I?" He then gave me the red umbrella.  
  
How sweet.. I never thought that Naruto was that kind. Perhaps I was only seeing his stupid, clumsy side. I flashed him a genuine smile.  
  
"Thanks." I said. "Since we don't have a lot of assignments today, why don't we go at Ichiraku and warm our stomach with a delicious bowl of ramen? And yeah, my treat."  
  
He scratched the back of his head with his free hand then said, "A-Are you sure, Sakura?"  
  
My smile grew wider. "Of course! Let's go now, shall we?"  
  
Naruto smiled back. We started on our way to Ichiraku. It's nice to relax once in a while..  
  
-----  
  
Naruto and I ordered miso ramen. I haven't tasted ramen for a long time and I found it really delicious. No wonder Naruto was so fond of eating it. I watched him with a smile as he devoured his ramen. He put down his chopsticks and ordered another bowl. He sighed.  
  
"It's so delicious!" He exclaimed that some of the customers in there stared at us. His hand was placed on top of his tummy. "Sakura, is there something bothering you?"  
  
"H-Huh? Why did you ask me that?" I said. I was surprised by his question.  
  
"Even if you are smiling right now, I know deep inside that something is bothering you. Please tell me, Sakura." He answered.  
  
"Nothing's really bothering me, Naruto. I'm probably tired." I answered followed by a tired sigh. He looked straight at my emerald orbs. That sent shivers to my spine.  
  
"Is it because of that jerk, Sasuke? Tell me!" He said, his voice raised a bit.  
  
Luckily for me, the waiter came with his ramen. He put the big bowl on top of the table then left.  
  
"Uhm.. There's your ramen, Naruto." I said with a nervous smile. He looked at me before taking his chopsticks and began to eat. When he finished his second bowl, he ordered another.  
  
"Sometimes they think I'm dumb, stupid, and a trouble maker. Even you think that I am stupid but I really don't care. I doesn't matter what other people think of me but even though you see me as a stupid person, Sakura I'm not numb. I'm not blind and I see that you have a problem. It's not good to keep your problems in your heart and solve it by yourself because sooner or later you will explode and you will only feel more hurt and disappointed about yourself." He said. His voice was soft which, I thought, was unusual. Was he really Naruto? He was so serious. I looked at him for a while then stared at the table. We were silent for some minutes. I sighed deeply before speaking.  
  
"You know that.. Gaara left me and up to now, I'm still waiting for his return. Then here comes Mr. Sad and Loveless, and tells me that he really loves me from the bottom of his heart from the start but was just afraid to tell me." I said followed by another sigh.  
  
"And that Mr. Sad and Loveless is Sasuke, right?" He asked. I looked straight at his deep blue eyes then nodded. I heard him sigh.  
  
"I really don't know Gaara and Sasuke so much but Gaara made you happy so I think he has a nice side but then I also think that he's a bad guy because he left my Sakura and made her cry so much." He paused. "While that Uchiha star.. I think he's really stupid for not telling you the truth. He's really nasty and good for nothing and show-off and I really hate him because you like him but maybe he's also nice if you'll only get to know him."  
  
There was a long pause.  
  
"You know that I like you so much and I've been waiting for you to notice my feelings but then you wouldn't. I've waited and waited and waited until I got tired and thought that maybe you aren't meant for me and it would be nice if I open my heart again and so I did. Maybe someday, the right one will come." He looked at me. "But that is my case, yours is different. You are waiting for Gaara even if it takes forever because you love him. But maybe Sasuke is also right.."  
  
"You mean you..?" I interrupted him.  
  
"Yes. I heard you talking with each other. What if you are only waiting for nothing? Why don't you try opening your heart again? Why don't you let him.. Love you?" He said.  
  
I clenched my fists. Tears blinded my eyes.  
  
"But what if he, too, leaves me? Naruto, I don't want to be hurt again. I want to be loved forever.." I said.  
  
"How will you know if you won't take risks? Besides, no relationship becomes a happy ending if there are no problems or you won't feel hurt. Problems strengthen relationships. No matter how hard the challenges are, you should always stick together and once both of you are strong, nothing will be able to break you apart." Naruto answered with a smile.  
  
"Yeah.. Maybe you're right, Naruto. Maybe I should take a risk.." I whispered. "Maybe I should try loving Sasuke."  
  
The waiter arrived with Naruto's new bowl of miso ramen. I waited for him to touch his chopsticks but he didn't. He was only looking at me with so much sincerity deep within those sapphire orbs of his.  
  
"Don't be afraid to move on, Sakura. But.." He paused. "The answer is still within you, locked in the deepest part of your heart. It's up to you how to unlock that mystery. Just listen to yourself and only to yourself. Follow your heart and you will find true happiness."  
  
I was amazed of what he said. I can't believe that he is Naruto. The clumsy, noisy Naruto that I know. The stu-- no. Yes, I admit that I've thought of him as a stupid, dumb person but after that conversation, that thought about him changed. I knew that he was a deep, smart person.  
  
-----  
  
I went to the super market one Saturday afternoon. There were only a few people by that time. After I bought all that I need, I headed back to my apartment. As I was walking, I passed the park. I decided not to go there for it would only bring back memories that I wouldn't want to remember but then I spotted someone. It wasn't Gaara but Sasuke and he looked so lonely. I decided to go and talk to him.  
  
"Hey Sasuke.." I said. I sat on the swing beside him, the one where I usually sit. He didn't greet me back.  
  
"No shooting for now?" I asked. Trying to start a nice conversation. "You've been away from school for almost four days and you missed a lot of activities."  
  
"That's my life." He finally answered while staring at the ground. Was he really talking to me? He looked more interested to the grassy ground than me. I sighed.  
  
"Don't you even get tired of doing the same things? You know the shooting, attending the awards night, signing your posters, the pictorials, and not to mention running away from your fans." I said. "..Like me."  
  
He looked at me all of a sudden. "What do you mean?"  
  
I really mean it that way. Those are the things T. V. icons usually do, right? But then when I thought deeper, I knew what he meant by that question. That thing I said about 'running away from fans like me' might have caught his attention.  
  
"Sasuke, were you really gone for almost four days because you were.. Avoiding me?" I asked.  
  
He looked at the setting sun. He then shook his head in reply.  
  
"Oh.. Okay." That was the only thing I could say then after that, there was a long silence.  
  
"H-How did your shooting go?" I finally asked, breaking the silence.  
  
"Fine."  
  
"When will we see your new commercial?" I asked again. I sounded like a T. V. reporter, interviewing the famous star, Uchiha Sasuke.  
  
"I don't care." He answered.  
  
I wouldn't be surprised if he'd answer me that way. My questions are senseless. I've already told you, I'm not a conversationalist.  
  
"Do you have an upcoming movie?" There I was again with my senseless questions.  
  
He shook his head. I grew tired of him and his answers that I spitted on him the words:  
  
"You know what Sasuke, talking with you is almost as good as talking to the wall or a rock. You wouldn't even answer me nicely or talk to me about anything." I paused. "And here I am, looking like a stupid person talking to a rock! Here I am, trying to open my heart but.. Y-You wouldn't open yours!"  
  
He looked really puzzled. "What?"  
  
I lowered my voice. "Sasuke, I'm trying to get to know you but you wouldn't let me. Why? What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing's wrong with me. It is you. What's with your sudden change?" He angrily said.  
  
"Look, I just want to know you better.." I answered with my gentle voice. "Maybe it's time to open my heart again. To stop living in the past and face my present. Maybe.. it's time to love again."  
  
"And who the hell told you that?"  
  
"It was Naruto's advice. He told me that I should take risks in life if I really want to be happy." I told him with a small smile.  
  
"That dunce.." I heard him mutter under his breath. "I didn't know that he has a brain to give an advice. Maybe he read about it in some book. No, I doubt he did because he doesn't even know how to read."  
  
I chuckled. "But he really did told me that! I was even surprised seeing him so serious like he isn't Naruto at all but a psychologist in a Naruto costume!" I laughed more.  
  
"I know. I can't imagine that stupid Uzumaki looking so serious." He said with a small smile. "But then thanks to him for making you realize that you got to stop living in the past. That Gaara isn't everything.."  
  
My heart suddenly saddened but I knew that life must go on. Face new challenges and in the end, I will find true happiness.  
  
"I know.." I said. There was a long pause.  
  
"Sakura, where did you learn about everything? You know what I mean." He finally said. My eyes widened. I wasn't prepared for that question. What must I tell him?  
  
"I.. Uhm.. Somebody.. I.." I didn't know what to say.  
  
"You found my journal." He cut me. I knew there was no use if I would deny it. He knew the truth from the start so I nodded. He spoke again, "Where did you found it?"  
  
"I-In my locker and there was a note with it.. But the sender's name wasn't there."  
  
"Itachi.." He snarled. "Itachi sent it to you.. But why, why?!"  
  
I touched his shoulder. "I-It doesn't matter.. I already know the truth, anyway." I gave him a comforting smile. "Why don't we try to find happiness? Forget about your brother who knows nothing but make your life a living hell.. A-And I'll stop living in the past. So, what do you say?"  
  
His frown turned into a smile, a beautiful, genuine smile. "Are you sure?"  
  
"Can I still be your princess?"  
  
"You've always been my princess." He stood up from the swing and carried the grocery bags with one hand. He stretched his other arm saying, "Shall we?"  
  
I grinned. I took his hand then answered, "With pleasure."  
  
He then walked me to my apartment.  
  
-=-=-=-=-  
  
I hate this chapter (And I know you do..) but please, please forgive me for I really have to do it. Thanks for understanding me.. Anyway, here's a preview of the next chapter:  
  
Sakura is now happy with Sasuke but then old, painfully sweet memories came flooding back in her mind when Gaara comes back..  
  
Thanks for reading and PLEASE review..


	16. A New Chapter

SasuSaku ahead. If you're allergic with that pairing, back off. Just got to be fair.

Chapter 16: A New Chapter

The hardest part in writing a story is how to start it. You would agree with me, wouldn't you? Everyone of us has his or her own story. Some are happy or sad. Others are exciting and romantic.

So what's my story? I don't know how to start it.

It's like everything was new. It felt like I've been born again. It felt so warm and so tender. I wish it would never end-- the happiness, laughter, smiles. Sigh..

A new chapter in my life.

It's nice to have someone in my heart again. I never felt empty nor alone. He made me happy. So happy that sometimes I just want to cry in front of him and yell at him, "I curse you for being like that! I curse you for being so sweet and kind! Argh! I hate you for that!"

I've been waiting for him in a beautiful garden. It looked really nice and romantic with the roses having different colors, some sort of bright-colored flowers, light bulbs inside assorted colors of paper lamps and of course what made this garden so pretty and special were the cherry blossom trees all around. I was sitting on a swing, its thick strings tied firmly at the branch of a sakura tree. I looked at the flowers of the majestic tree for a while with a smile painted on my lips.

I didn't know why he asked me to go there. He told me to come at around eight in the evening but I came at around seven. No wonder he was not yet there. I knew I shouldn't have come there too early but I didn't want him to wait for me.

"Oh, I'm getting bored!" I exclaimed, talking to myself. Who would I talk to in there, anyway? I was alone! Yet excited.

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. I waited until my wrist watch would alarm to remind me that it's already eight in the evening.

But it wouldn't.

I waited until my eyes felt tired. I knew I was feeling drowzy. Suddenly, my vision went blurred and soon there was total darkness.

* * *

"Sasuke, Sasuke!" I said out loud while I was running at a wide field towards him. He turned his head to my direction.

"What?" He asked. "What happened to you that's making you shout right now? You're causing too much noise. You're annoying me."

I knew he didn't quite mean that. It didn't even hurt me at all. My past has taught me how to be strong.

My painful past..

I sat beside him under an enormous tree that provided us a shade from the hot summer sun.

"What is it?" He questioned me again.

"Look at this!" I excitedly said. I showed him a small made-by-me notebook. Its cover was blue.

"It's just a notebook made by someone that is not so artistic," He paused. "like you."

That didn't hurt me also. Maybe that's just his way of showing his affection to me. That's his way of telling me 'I'm really proud of having someone as artistic as you are'. I'm used to it.

I handed him the notebook and flashed him my most beautiful smile.

"Open it." I said.

He gave me a puzzled look but he opened it, anyway.

"Once, there was a girl haunted by the shadows of her past. Her name is Sakura." He read aloud and I giggled. He looked at the picture next to that page. It was a poorly drawn me. He turned it to the next page.

"Sakura was a sad and lonely girl. She was also a coward until she met Mr. Popular Star, Uchiha Sasuke." He had a small smile on his lips when he read that. The picture at the opposite side was, again, a poorly drawn Sasuke wearing a navy blue shirt and black pants. "Is that really me?"

"Yeah, yeah. I know I'm not so good in drawing. Just continue, okay?" I answered then looked back at the notebook. He turned it to the next page.

"Sakura thought that Sasuke was an arrogant, bad boy, just like the other movie stars but she was wrong. So wrong. He was a caring person. Even if how much he tried to hide it, she could sense his loneliness deep inside his heart. No wonder he acted that way towards the people around him." He paused. "If only she had known about it, she would have chosen him instead."

There was a drawn picture of him sitting alone on a bench and me peaking at him from behind a tree.

He looked away from the notebook. I knew that would make him think a lot. I smiled to myself and grabbed the notebook from his hands. I read the continuation for him.

"Fortunately, God has been so kind to her. Sasuke loved her back. He gave her someone like Sasuke and if he would like it, even if it is too early to say, she wants to spend the rest of her life with him.. Crying with him, laughing with him, smiling with him.. Just loving him."

Sasuke was speechless. He looked deeply into my eyes. I almost drowned myself in his black orbs that showed eternal depths. He really can't express himself now, can he? Ha! I got him there.

He was so fast I didn't even notice his arms were already around my shoulders, pulling me into a tight embrace. He ran his hand on my long hair and I could feel his hot breath against my neck.

"Do you really mean that?"

There was no affection in his voice when he said that but there was something in it that made my heart almost melt.

"I.. Y--"

Before I could finish my answer, I heard a voice.. A very familiar one. The one I wanted to forget a long time ago.

"Sakura?"

It was him. I'm sure of it.

Gaara.

* * *

"Sakura? Sakura?"

The voice suddenly changed. It was Sasuke's.

"H-Huh?" I said, almost like a whisper.

"You fell asleep in here," he answered. He said more things but I wasn't paying attention to it at all. I was thinking about my dream.

Yup, that happened about three years ago when I was sixteen. I gave that notebook to Sasuke on our second anniversary in that same place but something wasn't quite right. It was Gaara's presence. Why was he there? What could it mean?

"Are you alright?" He asked me, sounding a bit concerned.

"Y-Yes," I paused. "I think so."

And then my attention was back to my dream. I couldn't forget it. I wonder why..

"Happy nineteenth birthday, Sakura." Again, Sasuke's voice distracted my thoughts.

"W-What?"

He repeated what he said. Oh, yeah. It was my birthday and how could I have forgetten about it. There was a bunch of activities at school that made me forget about it. Maybe that was the reason why Sasuke asked me to come there. Yeah, that's got to be it!

Or are there more surprises coming my way?

"Oh, yes. Uhm.. Thanks for reminding me, Sasuke." I answered with a forced smile.

"Is there something bothering you?"

"N-None! I'm really fine and happy because you are here with me." I answered.

There was a strange look in his eyes. I knew I didn't convince him. Of course I can't outwit a person as cunning as Sasuke so easily. Thankfully, he didn't ask more questions.

He held my hand and said, "I've got something to show you."

I stood up from the swing and he brought me to another place in that enormous garden. There was a table for two in there with some plates, spoons, forks, bowls, wine glasses and a lit red candle at the center of the table. Some cherry blossoms have fallen from the tree on the table, making it look more romantic. There were two chairs.

My heart was filled with so much joy..

"Shall we?" He said. I nodded. He pulled a chair and I sat on it. Sasuke sat across me.

A man dressed beautifully like a waiter in a five-star restaurant appeared from nowhere and served us some food and champagne. Sasuke motioned for him to leave us. He bowed at him then left.

I started the conversation while we were eating.

"This is a very lovely place, Sasuke."

It was so true. I really like that garden. The gentle breeze was calming my spirit, caressing my skin. It was hard to forget a beautiful place such as that.

"I know," came his monotonous reply.

"Oh, and delicious food!"

"I know."

"Not to mention the champagne."

"I know."

I finally got tired of hearing him say, 'I know, I know'. He was like a recorder.

"Yesterday, I had a lot of work to do. It was really exhausting and that professor gave us a surprise test this morning. Good thing I was ready and I got the highest score!"

He said nothing.

I kept my mouth shut for some minutes until we were almost finished eating.

"So what are you planning to do tonight?" I asked.

He gave me a small, playful smile.

"You'll see."

* * *

"Lie down there." It sounded that it was a command from him. He was pointing at a pale yellow blanket on the grassy ground.

"Wh-What? Why?" I was quite nervous. What did he have on mind?

"Just do it, okay."

I nodded, not really sure what to do. I sat on the right side of the blanket. He looked deeply into my eyes before sitting beside me.

I inhaled the sweet scent of the air. It was totally relaxing.

"The wind feels so good!" I started.

There was no answer.

I looked at him and saw that he was looking in another direction, up in the dark sky. Curious, I also looked up and was surprised of the beautiful scenery. There were lots of stars twinkling in the dark night's sky.

"Wow! They are beautiful, Sasuke!"

There were stars of different colors. Some are bright blue, some are white. Others are yellow and some are red.

I stretched my arm, trying to reach the brightest and biggest blue star I've seen. I knew it was impossible and I looked really stupid. I was like a child, so innocent.

"What are you doing?" Sasuke asked.

"I'm trying to reach a star." I answered, not looking at him.

He was silent again. I lied on the blanket, using both of my arms as a pillow. I kept on staring at the beautiful sky above us.

"The stars are really beautiful," I said. "Don't you like any star up there?"

Sasuke was still looking up.

"Of course I like one." He finally answered. "But it is not up there."

"Really?" I thought that it was unbelievable. "So where is it?"

He chuckled. So what was so funny about what I said?

"I don't need to look up in the sky every night and hurt my neck. I don't have to search for my star among the other millions in there," he paused. "To others, there might be millions of beautiful stars twinkling every night but I can only think of one special star. It might not be as shiny or bright as the others but it really lights up my lonely nights. It is one in a million of bright stars, one of a kind."

I was puzzled. So that was how he described a star. I was amazed, he's got a sweet tongue. I flashed him a nice grin.

"Oh, that's nice." That was what I managed to say.

He looked back at me. I was taken aback. There was so much tenderness, longing, and love in his deep black orbs. If only I could explore its depths more. I knew I would know the message he wanted to convey.

"And that star is you, Sakura." He suddenly said.

My jaw dropped open. What was that again? Oh, the star. I was so lost in his beautiful eyes.

"Uh.. Uhm.. Yeah." I forced a smile.

"You might not believe it but it's true so just get serious."

Was he angry? No, he wasn't. He was just dead serious about it. He need not say it, his eyes already spoke for him. I knew I should be serious.

"Uhm.. Sure." I said, quite nervous.

"You know, I never thought that I would be saying this to a girl, especially to you. Remember that notebook you gave me three years ago?"

I nodded in reply.

"'Fortunately, God had been so kind to him. Sakura loved him back. He gave him someone like Sakura and if she would like it, even if it is too early to say, he wants to spend the rest of his life with her.. Crying with her, laughing with her, smiling with her.. Just loving her..'"

Those were some lines from the notebook I gave him. He only replaced my name with his and vice versa. Wow! He memorized it.

"I've been reading it every night since the day that you gave it to me." He said as if reading my thoughts. "You've really changed my life, Sakura."

"I.. I don't.." I found it hard to breathe. My cheeks were burning me and I was so speechless.

"And I will feel really happy if you would let me be with you.. cry, laugh, smile, and grow old with you." He smiled at me. "To spend the rest of my life loving you."

"I.. Me, too." I was trembling. Would he be asking me to--

"Marry me, Sakura." He whispered. "Marry me and I'll make you happy. Let me make you experience the joy you made me feel."

I was happy yet afraid. Afraid that it was the wrong time to get married and have a family, to be hurt again, to have the wrong decision.. To be with the wrong guy for the rest of my life. Argh! What am I thinking?! Of course he's the right man for me. Sasuke is not a mistake and besides he loves me. He'll never leave me.

Or am I just fooling myself?

Why is it that suddenly there were a lot of doubt in my mind and heart?

"B-But don't you think that it is too early for us to get married?" I nervously asked.

"I've made up my mind. I love you, Sakura, more than you'll ever know." There he was again with his beautiful, expressive eyes that would hypnotize me and follow everything he wanted!

He turned away from me.

"If you are not ready then it's fine with me," He said. "I'm willing to wait for you."

Silence.

"But Sasuke, why? Why did you suddenly asked me to marry you? What's with the rush?" That was what I managed to say.

His eyes were suddenly filled with sorrow and pain.

"I'll be leaving tomorrow for the shooting of my last movie in Spain. I was thinking of stopping to work as an actor after we get married so I could focus on taking care of my future family," He paused. "I'll be gone for five months."

"Five months? That's so long." I sadly said.

"I know. I just want to be sure that when I return--"

"I'll still be here to love you and just be yours?" I said.

He slowly nodded.

"Have no doubts about it. I love you, Sasuke." I said. I felt like crying. I breathed deeply before speaking again. I knew it would change my life forever.

"I want to spend my life with you, too, but--"

"I understand, Sakura." That was what he said. He stood up, ready to walk away.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

He stopped but didn't look back at me.

"I want to be with you but promise me you'll bring me back some souvenir from Spain, okay?" I said with a smile.

"You mean you'll..?" He asked, still not looking back at me.

"Yes, Sasuke." Tears started pouring down on my cheeks.

He turned and sat beside me.

"Hey, don't forge--"

"Shut up." He suddenly said. He pushed me down on the blanket then kissed me hard on my lips.

* * *

One week later..

It was the happiest week of my life. I told everyone about that wedding thing. I pictured myself wearing a beautiful white wedding dress with a long veil. My friends would be throwing petals of red roses to Sasuke and I after the wedding ceremony.

I'd be the most beautiful bride.

It'll be the happiest day of my life. Nothing's going to ruin it.

I smiled with that lovely thought.

I was walking back to my apartment when I passed by the playground. That place was full of happy and sad memories. It would remain as a piece of my life, anyway. I went there and sat on the same swing. Three years have already passed but then nothing really changed. Children didn't come and play there anymore since a new and larger playground was built near the plaza.

"Well, this is it." I said almost like a whisper. "This might be the last time that I'll be in here. Soon I'll be having a family. Maybe if I am not busy I'll visit you with my children," I paused. "and of course with Sasuke. You've been a part of my life. Everytime I'm in this place you would remind me of somethings.. Someone that I wanted to forget.. A long time ago."

I took a last look around the park before rising up from the swing when suddenly I heard a very familiar voice.

"Sakura?"

It was him. I'm sure of it. This time it wasn't a dream. He has returned.

Gaara.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I know you don't like this chapter, so do I.

Sorry if it took me a million years to update. I'm really busy. There are a lot of things to be done.

Anyway, now that Gaara is back to "ruin" everything, what will Sakura do? What about Sasuke? Just find out..

After a million years. Please review.


	17. Home Coming

Chapter 17: Home Coming

The first thing that popped out of my mind was the question, 'Why are you here?'.

Its been a long time. And he's back. Was it God's way of amusing Himself?

Very slowly, memories of the past flashed in my mind. I thought I was ready about it. I taught myself that I should only care about the present, not the past. Gaara is my past. Sasuke is my present, my future.

And so, like an actress on a stage, I tried to act as best as I could. Try to act normal, that is.

"So, uhm, you're back." I knew it. It was a dumb thing to say.

"I'm here so I guess so." He answered not looking at me. Nothing changed. He looked like the Gaara I knew before, I was with before. He just got taller. I sighed.

"Yeah and.. Why a-are you here?" Was that natural enough? I didn't know why but I was so tensed. I felt stupid.

This time, he looked at me with those fierce-looking emerald eyes.

"To visit a.. friend. A very special friend." He answered.

I knew who he was talking about. Alright, just a friend.

Just a very special friend..

I forced myself to smile.

"Why don't we eat at the new coffee shop at the plaza? I'm sure you'll love it there." I told him. "And oh, my treat. Uh, you know, to welcome a friend.. A very special friend." I added.

He looked at me for awhile before saying, "I'd love to."

* * *

Tia's Cafe is a wonderful place to eat. I spend my free time there while reading a book. The aroma of the brewed coffee soothes my tired soul. Not to mention the prices of the food there are cheap. 

"Hello, Ms. Sakura! May I take your order?" Asked a brown haired waitress named Maria. I told you I was a regular customer.

"I would like to have hot chocolate, please." I said, grinning at her.

She turned to Gaara.

"How about you, sir?" Maria asked. "I've never seen you around."

"He's a friend. He just arrived here uhm.. yesterday." I answered for him.

"I see. I thought he's your new boyfriend." She said.

"He's a friend." I repeated. "Just give him coffee. Thank you." There was finality in my voice. I didn't want her to say more.

Sasuke and I spent some of our time there before he went to Spain. I liked the food and drinks they serve so he often took me there. Of course everyone in there knew himthe famous, handsome Uchiha Sasuke, the superstar. They gave us special treatment whenever we eat there. It was wonderful having Sasuke with me there. I felt like a queen, so special.

Gaara gave me a puzzled look. I was silent for quite a long time.

"Oh, uhm, you'll love their coffee here." I told him. He didn't answer me.

"Something is bothering you." It was not a question. Of course he would know. I was not talking with a dumb person.

"Yeah.. It's about school. We have a lot of projects to do, you know." I lied. He knew. Good thing he didn't ask me about it.

Maria came with our orders. She put it on the table.

"I hope you'll like our special coffee, sir!" The brown haired waitress turned to me. "Hey Ms. Sakura, please say hello to Sasuke from me."

Oh yeah, thanks for blowing it away, Maria. But why should I be hiding our relationship? It isn't something that is illegal. Besides, I knew Gaara would know about it sooner or later.

Thank goodness Maria left.

We were silent for a long while. I wasn't feeling thirsty at all. I just kept on mixing the chocolate with a silver teaspoon.

"Drink it while it's still hot." He finally said like he's already tasted the chocolate in that cafe.

"Oh, yes." I took a sip. I knew their hot chocolate is delicious but then it seemed like it doesn't have any taste.

Again, there was silence.

"I knew you will end up having him as your boyfriend."

"Y-Yes I know but"

"How long have you been together?" He suddenly asked.

"A-About five years." I nervously answered.

"That was a couple of days after I left. Five years, that's a long time." He flatly said. "How about your child?"

Oh, that stupid incident. That reminded me of my stupidity. I was both angry, sad and happy about it. Angry because I was so dumb, sad because it was the reason why Gaara left me, and happy because it made me know Sasuke better and made us lovers.

"Oh, uhm, I found out that it was a false alarm." I chuckled with the thought of me having such a big tummy.

"I'm happy for you," He sighed. "because you finally found the one who will love you forever."

"T-Thank you." I said with a smile but behind it was a suddenly terrified Sakura.

* * *

It was the same as before. After I attend my classes, I'll go home and do some stuffs or if I feel like it, I would go at Tia's Cafe. 

I decided to go to my apartment.

Luckily, I've only got one homework and I finished it easily. I was sitting on the couch, thinking about my future.

I took 'medicine' as my course. When I was a little girl, I wanted to have a small clinic. I wanted to have a husband who is a doctor.

But I knew it wouldn't happen. He's an actor.

Well, that can still be possible. I'll manage the clinic and hire a doctor and a nurse. Sasuke will have to do the mother things, I guess. Like cleaning the house, washing the clothes, cooking and taking care of the children. He would have a lot of time.

Just the thought of Sasuke doing those things made me laugh.

Oh, how I missed him! I felt empty without him. I guess that was lifefull of hardships and sadness.

I sighed. I didn't want to think much about that because it makes me miss him more. I turned on the T. V. No show interested me. I kept on pressing the remote control and I finally gave up. I put it on top of the side table.

"And for the show biz news." A reporter said. I wasn't really paying attention. "Teen star, Uchiha Sasuke, already engaged to his non-showbiz girlfriend? Let's find out more about it." Now that caught my attention! How did they know?

The television now flashed another reporter and Sasuke. I felt my heartbeat getting faster.

"Hello! We are live here at Madrid, Spain where teen star Uchiha Sasuke is currently shooting his new movie. Sasuke, is it really true that you are already engaged?" The lady reporter asked.

"Yes." He answered. I thought he would deny it.

"With your non-showbiz girlfriend? So, who's the lucky girl?"

"You need not know about her. I want to protect her privacy." I knew he was trying his best to be polite.

The reporter turned to the camera and said:

"Sorry girls but Uchiha Sasuke is already taken. You don't have any chance" She turned to Sasuke "ain't that right?"

He just nodded.

"What are you planning to do after the marriage?"

"I'm planning to quit showbusiness." He answered.

The lady looked surprised.

"I know the reaction of your fans would be like 'why would you do that! You'll disappoint us, you know'. What will you say to them?"

"I'm sorry but I've already made up my mind. I'm willing to leave this job for her." He paused. "People would always tell me that I've already got everything, that I'm lucky. But I am willing to give up that everything for her. I'm serious about it."

"Oh, that's nice! So, when can we meet this girl?"

I was not able to hear his answer because the phone suddenly rang. I answered it. It was Sasuke.

"Hey, I thought you were having an interview?" I said with a happy smile.

"Oh, that? That isn't really live. That was shot about an hour ago." He answered. I knew he was happy just by hearing his voice. "So, how's my fiance doing?"

I loved the way he addressed me.

"What? Say it again, please?" I said.

"Say what?"

I blushed a little. That was so childish of me to do. But I just can't help it!

"How's my fiance doing?" He asked again. I knew he was smiling.

"I'm fine but quite sleepy. So, when can I see you again? Have you finished shooting the film?"

"Don't be ridiculous. You can't expect us to finish a movie in just some weeks, you know." He answered.

"Oh.. I miss you, you know. So be quick, okay?" I wanted to talk to him for a long time. There was a question I wanted to ask him since he left. I lightly bit my lower lip. "Sasuke, are there a lot of pretty girls at Spain?"

He chuckled.

"I never thought that Spanish girls are beautiful." He said. "And I would be lying if I tell you that you are prettier than them."

I pouted.

"You're always mean to me, Sasuke." I told him.

"The truth hurts," He replied. "Well, got to go now. We'll be shooting another scene."

I felt sad and lonely. When will he call me again?

"O-Okay.. I love you, Sasuke. I.. just want you to know." I said, almost like a whisper.

"Okay but I really got to go now." He paused. "Sakura, you are beautiful and special, I just want you to know that. I love you, too, my Sakura."

Then he hung up. I put the phone back to its place. It was really amazing how he would seem to be so mean to me then just one 'I love you' could make me melt and forget everything he said.

The man I'm destined to be with. Could it be him? I knew it was him because from the day I first saw him personally at school, I knew I've fallen in love with him.

* * *

I went to school the next day. It had been raining all afternoon and I wasn't expecting it. I didn't bring my umbrella with me. I also have tons of homeworks to do so I must not waste my time waiting for the rain to stop. 

I breathed deeply.

"This is it!" I whispered.

I started running towards the direction of my apartment. The ground was slippery and I knew I had to be careful.

"So c-cold!" I was shivering and tired but then I forced myself to run faster.

Then, oh good God! I finally reached my house! I didn't actually believe that I would make it. It was really cold and my bag was soaked. I looked for my key inside my bag but..

Oh no.

It wasn't there! Maybe I dropped it or I left it inside my apartment. And yeah, fate is so unkind. The landlady wouldn't be back from another country for a week. I wouldn't be able to borrow the spare key.

Am I the biggest loser?

I sighed as I sat down on the dirty, stone ground. It was getting colder. I hugged myself and can't possibly bring myself to move.

"Oh.. C-Cold! C-Can't t-t-think s-straight." I was really shivering.

"Think! Think! Think!" I told myself many times but it seemed that my brain was all frozen up. "I can't just sit here and do nothing!"

I sat there for almost an hour. It was getting dark and the rain got worse. I was tired and sleepy and cold. My eyelids felt heavy and I knew that soon, I would be asleep. Just then I felt something warm, like a jacket, on my back. I turned to see who it was.

"G-G-Gaara? W-What are y-you doing h-here?" I asked. Well, I was glad he came.

"I knew I couldn't leave you alone." He answered. "You're shivering. It seems that you have a problem entering your house. Tell me what happened later. I'll take you to my apartment so you could warm yourself up."

I nodded a little. I couldn't think straight. All I wanted that time was to feel warmth.

He helped me to stand up and we went on our way to his apartment.

Although it was smaller than mine, it was neat. There was a small fire place at the living room. I sat on the couch, his jacket keeping me warm.

"I'll get some clothes for you." That was the first thing he said when we arrived.

I stared at the red-orange flame. It looked really nice and I felt warm. I suddenly remembered Sasuke. How was he doing? Was everything alright?

"These might be a little bigger for you. These are all I found." Gaara reappeared holding a black shirt and a pair of blue comfortable looking pants. I assumed it wasn't his but I didn't ask him anymore.

"You can change at the bathroom. Just go straight ahead then right." He said. I nodded and followed the directions.

* * *

The black shirt looked really awful on me. It was bigger than what I had expected but it was a good thing because it provided me with warmth. I went back to the living room and saw him sitting on the couch. He also had changed his clothes. I sat beside him. 

"Drink it while it's still hot." He said, referring to the hot chocolate on the table. He must have prepared it while I was changing my clothes. I smiled at him.

"Thanks." I said. I took a sip. It was really good.

We were silent for a while and both of us staring at the fire. Hearing the crackling sound of the burning wood.

"What have you been up to since you left?" I finally asked.

"Nothing really important." He monotonously answered.

"Oh, okay.. Have you been working or something like that?" I asked again.

"No."

"Are you alright? Like, really?"

"Yes."

I paused.

"So tell me what happened." He asked.

"Oh, about my apartment? I forgot my key inside. I know its really stupid of me"

"And it isn't like you, you know, the Sakura that I once knew." He added.

I nodded a little, half agreeing with him.

"Do you really think that I'm.. not the Sakura that I was before?" I asked him.

"I think so but I don't know what's really different in you. I can't explain it."

Neither him nor I have anything to say. We were silent for quite a while.

"Have you had any.. girlfriend?"

He looked at me. I didn't know but it quite scared me.

"Would it matter to you?" He asked.

'Yes of course, you idiot!' I wanted to tell him but then I couldn't.

"Not really. I was just asking you that's all." I said with a small smile.

"Your eyes tell me another story, another answer." He answered.

"You haven't answered my question yet."

"No," He finally said. "Would it really matter to you?"

I couldn't answer him. I knew he knew what my real answer would be.

"Of course," I answered, not looking at him. "We had a special relationship, remember?"

He put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him. My head rested on his chest. I felt strangely warm.

..and blushed a little. I realized that I missed being close to him.

"Does he treat you right?" He asked.

"You mean Sasuke? Yes, very well." I stared at the fire. "He often takes me out. We go to gardens, watch the stars and some other stuffs."

It was my turn to ask him, "Why did you leave?"

I knew the answer to my question but I just wanted to hear it from him.

I heard him sigh deeply before answering my question.

"Let's just say that I woke up one day and realized that I just couldn't give you the love you truly deserve."

I smiled a little, a sad one.

"And so you let go of me?"

He was silent but I knew his answer would be a 'yes'.

"Letting go is just a painful way of saying, 'go and find someone else, you deserve to be happy.' " He explained to me.

"Oh, uhm.. Thank you," I said. "I told you before, a lot of times that I feel happy whenever I'm with you. Is that reason not enough so you left me?"

He didn't answer me. I looked at his emerald eyes and flashed him a smile.

"You don't need to answer that. I was just joking. That's the past, Gaara. We can never undo the mistakes."

"I know.."

I yawned. I realized that I was so tired and sleepy. He brushed his hand on my long hair and it felt wonderful and soothing. We were like that for quite a while, neither of us said anything.

"Sakura, I.." He said but then my cellphone rang. It was inside my bag. I grabbed my bag on the table and looked for my cellphone. I looked at its screen. It was Sasuke.

I felt awake again and quite excited. Gaara looked at me as I stood up.

"It's Sasuke!" I happily informed him. He just smiled at me. There was an expression in his eyes that I just can't read. I answered the phone.

"Hey, Sasuke!" I said to him.

"I tried calling you at your landline number but you didn't answer. Are you all right? Where are you?" He sounded so concerned.

"I left my key inside my apartment so I couldn't get in. I know, it was stupid of me." I answered.

I heard him chuckle.

"I'm glad you know. So, where will you be staying?" He asked.

I looked at Gaara as he shrugged.

"Uhm.. At a friend's house. I'll be fine."

Sasuke was silent.

"Sasuke? Are you still there?"

"Yes." He said. "I know.. you'll be fine. I know he'll take good care of you."

Then he hung up. I tried calling him back but it seemed that he turned his cellphone off.

How did he know?

I sat back beside Gaara. I looked worried, he said. It was nothing, I answered him.

"Try to get some sleep. Tomorrow everything will be all right." He said, looking at the fire.

I weakly nodded although I knew sleeping wouldn't make my worries disappear. How did Sasuke know that I was staying at Gaara's house?

'..I know he'll take good care of you' 

But what if I was wrong? What if he was referring to another male friend? I tried to think of more things to convince myself but none of it would sink into my mind.

I slowly closed my eyes, hoping that my 'minor' worries would somehow be lessened. I felt something warm and soft hugging my body, a blanket. I also felt that Gaara pulled me closer to him.

Before I finally drift into the world of dreams, I could have sworn I heard him say something like:

"Sorry.. Mistake.. Letting you go.."

* * *

* * *

Oh, this is getting boring, don't you think? Don't worry this boring fic is nearly complete. I hope I would be able to finish it. Please don't forget to submit (a) review/s. They really make me happy and encourage me to write more. Thanks a lot!

I'm planning to write another fic when I finish this one. I'm thinking if it should be SasuxSaku or ItaxSaku. What do you think?

I guess that's it for now. Once again, wait for another millenium.


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